3 Weeks in Poland {Wroclaw & Krakow}

We were nervous about going to Krakow. We had booked two weeks there and what if it was the same shit? The train ride to Krakow didn’t help. It was your average shitty train that went through the most boring stretch of land I’ve ever seen.

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A Month in Paradise a.k.a. The Lake District

Me: I just don't want a cow to buck us into next Tuesday.

Him: Cows don't do that. Plus there wasn't a sign warning us of aggressive cows.

Me: Right but how often do they check that shit? It's not like someone's out here everyday checking they haven't gone mad cow.

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A week in Scotland {Edinburgh & Aberdeen}

Aberdeen seemed adorable and right away I loved it so much more than Edinburgh. We had another mile walk to our Airbnb and another self check in since our hosts weren’t home. The house was super darling and old and quirky. Our room was big and the bed was gigantic and comfortable.

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Two Weeks in Wales {Colwyn Bay and the north coast}

We explored a lot of the coastal towns on the bus -- a favorite was Llandudno -- until we got attacked by a fucking seagull on the boardwalk!! Bwahaha. That was kind of fucked up. Kris was just eating a sandwich and a seagull attacked from behind and snatched a chunk of the sandwich literally out of his actual hand.

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A four-day London Whirlwind

Every single person we encountered was so cheerful and friendly -- I love the English for that. It's all real human interaction. Even the dude who sold us our airport train tickets and Oyster cards -- he was so witty and lovable. 

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Southern Italy can suck my balls {Italy, Part Two}

Our host was fucking weird. She was like, "I'll be down on the beach and if you can't find me there just ask around town - everyone knows me". I was like.....the fuck? Fuck you. Come and check us in, bitch. You want us to walk around town with our luggage, in a city we're unfamiliar with full of people who speak a language that we don't and fucking "ask around"?

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Lying ass bitches, a dumb ass museum, and all the gravy.

The British Museum was our next stop and that was awful. It was gigantic and super hot inside on account of all the old shit that needed the proper humidity, and filled with gaggles of idiot tourists flocking to see the "greatest collection of art in the world". Maybe so, but it was not pretty inside, very poorly laid out and not engaging or accessible at all. We walked around for maybe 30 minutes and then got the fuck out of the there. 

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