Posts tagged england
A long weekend in London {and then back home to Phoenix}

Earlier in the day at Kenwood House we had learned that there was this old Lord Whoever The Fuck guy who had a bunch of kids with all his different mistresses and was generally kinda freaky and we overheard the docent describe him by saying:

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A Month in Paradise a.k.a. The Lake District

Me: I just don't want a cow to buck us into next Tuesday.

Him: Cows don't do that. Plus there wasn't a sign warning us of aggressive cows.

Me: Right but how often do they check that shit? It's not like someone's out here everyday checking they haven't gone mad cow.

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A week in Scotland {Edinburgh & Aberdeen}

Aberdeen seemed adorable and right away I loved it so much more than Edinburgh. We had another mile walk to our Airbnb and another self check in since our hosts weren’t home. The house was super darling and old and quirky. Our room was big and the bed was gigantic and comfortable.

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Lying ass bitches, a dumb ass museum, and all the gravy.

The British Museum was our next stop and that was awful. It was gigantic and super hot inside on account of all the old shit that needed the proper humidity, and filled with gaggles of idiot tourists flocking to see the "greatest collection of art in the world". Maybe so, but it was not pretty inside, very poorly laid out and not engaging or accessible at all. We walked around for maybe 30 minutes and then got the fuck out of the there. 

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Breakfast in London ~ Dinner in Dublin ~ Buffet in NYC {Days 32 & 33}

Today we had an easy afternoon flight from Dublin. We landed in NYC at 6pm and weren’t too messed up from jetleg — it’s easier going this way and with the shorter flight. It was 6pm NYC time and only 11pm Dublin time so we weren’t totally fried yet. From the airport we took a train to Grand Central Station and had dinner at our favorite buffet around the corner.

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Breakfast in London, Dinner in Rome {Day 13}

I don't if it was because it was early and we were delirious or what, but everything was crackgin us up. A little girl and her parents walked by us. I said, "Ohmygawd that little girl was so cute" and Kris giggled and said, "That little girl grabbed that guys cock" (an accident, as she was reaching for his hand). We laughed about that for minutes.

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A Special Kind of Hell: The £5 Bus to London Victoria Coach Station

Across the aisle from me was a real beast of a woman - chubby, sweaty, nasty, in ill fitting sweat pants, a giant sweat shirt, dirty sneakers, a greasy frizzy ponytail and a bag full of crap food and drinks. She had a terrible British accent and seemed to be drunk. I wish I could've gotten video of her.

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It took all the washing powder and it fucked off {Day 6, Manchester}

Later on James took us pub hopping. The first one was where his friend gave his cheap drinks. I had a delicious hard cider and Kris and James were scoping out the girls with the colored hair. I asked why they both liked that and they both agreed that "girls with colored hair are down to fuck." and I said I bet they loved that reputation.

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London > Rome > Arezzo > Paris | Spring 2011

Kris on European toilets: “These toilets are deep as shit. Your shit has such a long way to fall. It’s like a goddamn mile high. It’s like dropping your shit off a cliff. I hope whoever invented these toilets has to shit in them for the rest of their life.”

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