My First Colon Hydrotherapy Session
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My interest in colon hydrotherapy was piqued during an episode of "Gigolos", a reality show about male prostitutes in Las Vegas. One of the gigolos, the most uptight one at that, went to get a colonic and he properly squirmed and squealed all thru his session. It was hilarious.
After that, colonics (or colon hydrotherapy or professional ass blasting or whatever you want to call it) remained one of those illusive things people other than me do. Sort of like Kris and the first time he heard about foreskin restoration. It was years before he actually started doing it himself, even though he saw the value in it upon first mention.
What finally got me on the table with the tube up my ass was a horrifying stomach bug. My dearest darling friend Danielle suggested I get a colonic to blast out whatever was murdering me from the inside. Since basically everything she's ever suggested to me has rocked my world, I promptly made appointments for me and my adorable boyfriend (he was struck by the same bug) the next day.
I arrived at my practitoner, Mariana's, house and she led me to the private, dedicated space (which included an attached private bathroom) where she cleans people out. She set me up on a table with a chux pad to lay on and told me to undress and handed me a towel if I wanted to cover up. The room was comfortably warm so I jumped at the opportunity to stay naked.
The first thing she did was explain the premise of colon hydrotherapy, and then she walked me through everything that would happen during the session.
I borrowed this from Mariana's website, which is basically what she explained to me that first day:
"Colon Hydrotherapy is the ancient practice of deep hydration through the large intestine. Nearly every ailment that has plagued human kind throughout history revolves around a weak immune system. Our digestive tract houses the majority of our immunity and a healthy hydrated colon leads to a clean, well-balanced, functioning body temple and an elevated Spirit."
After we chatted a bit, she put gloves on, had me roll onto my side away from her and then she put her hand on my hip so that she could get in tune with my breathing. Then she said, "On the next exhale I'm going to put in the speculum." It is a speculum with a disposable head, so the only part that actually touches you is sterile and is disposed of after your session. It is well lubricated and the insertion process is slow and controlled - not painful at all (it shouldn't be!) and not all together that unpleasant, really. It was slightly "awkward" to have the speculum in, but after about 30 seconds my butthole relaxed and I couldn't even feel it anymore.
Once it's in, she has you roll back onto your back and then the session starts. Mariana sits with you the entire time with one hand holding the speculum in place and her other hand on your abdomen. She palpates around and feels where you are inflamed, where you're holding, where you're lymph isn't draining, etc. and explains it all to you as she goes.
As you can see in the picture above, there is a small window where the contents of your insides pass thru so you can see what is coming out and this is very important - Mariana also talks you through all of this and explains what she is seeing: "Dehydrated matter", "a possible parasite", etc.
It is amazing to see your emotional/spiritual/energetic baggage that you've been holding onto wash away through that little window. I was six pounds lighter after two sessions. 6 pounds of old crap I had been carrying around with me.
I have some health issues I've been trying to get to the bottom of for a while now and after learning so much from Mariana in that first session, I feel confident that this will be a large part of my healing. Conceptually, I know that the majority of your immune system is in your gut so I'm surprised it took me this long to get on the colonics table.
Sessions last about an hour - Mariana manually controls the water as it goes in and comes out the entire time. All you have to do is remain as relaxed as possible. There were also certain points where she slowly filled me up with water and let the water sit there and soak. There is lots of communication during the session - I'd tell her if I felt crampy, or "too full" of water or anything else and she would adjust to maintain my comfort level. There comes a point where your body is simply tired, stops releasing, and it is clear that you've done all you can do for the day. At the end of the session I took a few deep breaths and Mariana removed the speculum on an exhale, discarded it and left me to use the toilet if I needed, and get dressed.
Everyone's after effects will obviously be different, but mine were great. After that first visit when I came dying of the stomach flu, I immediately felt better - my nausea was 100% gone and I couldn't believe it.
The next couple of sessions went the same and I continued to feel good afterwards and didn't even have any crazy gas or explosive poops when I got home. I'm excited to continue going because I figure clearing out the layers of old waste can only be doing me good!
One thing I'll point out before leaving you to contemplate your own intestinal situation is this: as with any type of healer/practitioner/therapist, etc. - they are not all created equal. I cannot imagine doing colonics in a salon/spa-like setting with a sterile feel, a bathroom down the hall, and a practitioner that I did not have a personal connection with and who did not have a vested interest in my health. You get what you pay for, and having a very present, knowledgeable practitioner that can hold space for what you will be releasing on all levels is oh so important.
It's not just about someone who can shoot water up your ass, know what I mean? You can go oh so deep with this practice if you want.
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