Tub & Toast & Piggy Doggies {Manchester 2013}
Day 5, September 12th
After an overnight flight from NYC, we landed at the Dublin airport around 8:30am. There was a long line at passport check, but even though we didn't sleep on the plane we were functioning. Since our flight to Manchester wasn’t until the late afternoon, we decided to store our bags at the airport and it was totally worth the $15. We hopped on the bus into the city center and got the seats on the upper level of the bus right in the front row looking out the huge window.
We just guessed at where to get off the bus and end up picking a great spot in downtown Dublin. Kris kept remarking how adorable and quaint everything is. And it really is.
We went to Brother Hubbard and had coffee, tea, and a cinnamon walnut scroll - a delicious cross between a scone and a cinnamon roll. After a few minutes we moved outside into their super cute garden. It was sprinkling rain and the weather was so refreshing.
After the coffee shop we just wandered around and explored the streets some more. Lots of cute street art, like this
We popped into the Dublin Castle and most of it is free to wander around. They had a really adorable cafe with a gorgeous patio overlooking the grounds and then another great cafe inside the library on the grounds.
Kris thinks Dublin's version of the exit sign is over complicated. At first he thought it was the sign for the bathroom because it sort of looks like a man running frantically to the shitter. We headed in the direction of lunch and after a long walk over, we arrived at Bibi's Cafe, which is a cafe and a vintage shop in one, run by two sisters. Kris had an open faced turkey sandwich with a delicious chutney, I had a pot of chai and a slice of pinenut/feta/spinach tart, which came with pesto tomato salad and some dressed greens, and we shared a delicious pitcher of cucumber lemon water.
We saw some snails just outside and so many of them were smashed. After lunch we were starting to get delirious from no sleep. I was wearing my sneakers, which were totally fucking up my feet. I had only been wearing my vibrams and what a testament to them! And to how much regular shoes fuck up our feet! I wore my vibrams all day every day walking miles all over New York City and I had no blisters, no discomfort, my feet weren't sore, nothing. But just a few hours of walking in my sneakers and my feet were killing me and I had a massive nasty blister on one of my toes. Between the sneaker thing and us being too tired to think anymore, we decided to head back to the airport.
We got on the local bus (as opposed to the super fast express bus) back to the airport figuring we weren't in a hurry, so might as well. What a fucking mistake! Oh my god, I'd had that pot of tea at lunch and I was almost pissing myself on the bus. I was seriously considering getting off at the next stop and just pissing on the side of the road. I was also considering taking my to-go box to the back of the bus and squatting and pissing in it. I was so fucking desperate. We got the the airport and I tore of the bus and ran my ass off inside to the bathroom. Kris said, "I felt so bad for you, running like mad, pulling up your pants that were falling down, dying to pee." It was the best piss of my life, but fuck it was awful to have to go that badly for that long.
We got our bags together and had to reorganize a bit because RyanAir has a strict baggage policy. I have a vest that I brought so I basically tucked everything in my carry on into my vest - our tablets, phones, head phones, etc. Kinda funny, but it worked.
And after a quick 40 minute flight we arrived in Manchester. We took the train one stop into the city and James was waiting for us in the station. We headed back to his place and it was a nice walk over and his apartment was so cute! It’s right in the middle of town and on the fifth floor, so really nice views and great light. The whole place was very simple, modern and clean - quite impressive for two bachelors - James lives with his friend, James. Who also has curly hair. Isn't that hilarious?
And the best part - they had a bathtub that was shiny and inviting. James made me toast and I ate it in the bath. He also gave us his room and is sleeping on the couch while we're here! What a guy! We are so happy to be here and to hang out with him for the next week or so. What fun!
Day 6 Friday, September 13
Around 11 we stumbled out of bed. James made us coffee and eggs on toast for breakfast. He calls ketchup "tomato sauce" ha. He left for work for a few hours and we headed out to wander and get groceries for lunch. James pointed us to a great market called The Co-op. Some things here are super cheap like tea, bread, milk, and most prepared food in the grocery store. Something are normal (to us) priced like butter, meat, cheese. And some things are way expensive like produce and alcohol. We headed back home to heat up our soup and bread and Kris had picked out a pretzel and some twisty cheese roll that were both fucking amazing. Immediately after lunch we went back to the same store for more twisty cheese rolls. James seriously has the cutest apartment with the best views:
After lunch we wandered around town. Manchester is a busy city with a lot to do and see and people are very nice here. Everyone is friendly and talks to you - like if you bump into someone, they say excuse me. The hosts and waitresses in all the restaurants and coffee shops are so cute and chatty and everyone seems happy and they're all pleasant and funny, but not in a robotic rehearsed kind of way - in a human kind of way. There seems to be like almost no barrier between cashiers/servers/shop keepers, etc and "customers", I really like that.
When we got back home James was back from work and we all hung out and chatted for a couple of hours and I took almost a whole page of notes of funny things that were said:
Kris: Do they still play football if it's raining?
James: Of course. Fuckin thunder, lightening, yeah. This is fuckin proper football.
James: It's cozy in here with yous guys here. Usually it's just me and my mate, just a couple of idiots, watchin telly, talkin shit.
James calls the University part of town "The student-y bit" and he says "mental" a lot.
He describes himself and two friends arriving in a bad part of L.A. with tons of black people everywhere. He says, "I imagined all the black guys playing basketball thinking - look at these flies, walkin into the spiders web."
James describes a friend of his who works in a bar and gets him discounted drinks. A bit later he says, "We'll go down to the pub soon, the one where my friend works." I said, "Oh - the half off man-woman?"
Kris: Why is the light switch on the outside of the bathroom? I mean anybody could just walk by and fuck with you while you're taking a shit.
James: Yep. They're in charge of your destiny.
James' washer is being funky and not working. We turned it on, and he went to check it a bit later. Kris asked, "What's going on? Is it washing?" and James said, "Nope. It's only dressed the bottom half of your load. Then it took all the washing powder and it fucked off."
Kris: How come it's one penny, but two pence? And what are these two outlets over here? They don't do anything and they look strange.
James: Well fucking hell. He's fuckin upset with everything - the electric, the plumbing, the telly....
James, on a girl he's trying to get with: I've only gotten her drunk and made her laugh. I don't think she knows yet that I'm not that good looking....
We were joking around about sex and I made some comment about Kris having a 4 inch penis (HE DOESN'T!)
Some hours later James goes to the bathroom and Kris says, in a total valley girl voice, "Why'd you say I hada 4 inch dick? Guys are sensitive about that stuff."
James calls it a "wank bank" instead of a "spank bank"
Kris, on British actresses: So far, they've all been frumperific.
Kris also frequently notes how many extra words British people use. Examples:
"Sorry, not in service" (seen on a bus)
"This way to pay" (sign in a department store point to the cash registers)
"Way out" instead of "exit"
"Hot snacks pick up point" (sign at a cafeteria style cafe)
"Of which is saturated" (seen on an ingredients label, instead of just "saturated fat")
Also, stuff like this-- a bottle of dish soap with a label that said, “The Co-Operative Ecological Washing Up Liquid”.
Kris and I were talking about sex and James, from his bedroom, yells "Are ya talkin ‘bout poundin?"
A bit later we watched this hilarious reality show. The premise is a guy and 3 random girls. The guy goes to each girls house and she cooks him dinner. After he's had dinner with all 3 of them, he picks the one he likes the best by showing up at her door for dinner at a predetermined day and time. But all 3 girls are given the same day and time - they don't know if they're going to open the door and see the guy there to "pick them" and take them out to dinner, or if they're going to find a microwave meal for 1 chosen by the guy and left for them. Kris thinks it's sexist, but James points out that they do it the other way too - having a girl and 3 guys and all the guys cook for her and she picks at the end.
The guy and the 3 girls on this particular episode were so unattractive! We were all ripping them apart with our commentary. I said, "Look at her teeth! She looks like a mouse....not that he's that good looking either...." and James said, "Yeah.....he's a bit of a shit head, huh?"
At some point the three of us went back out to the store for food for dinner to bring back and make at home. As James was checking out he called the cashier "honey" 3 or 4 times and she called him "love" 3 or 4 times. Isn't that funny? "Honey" in the U.S. is almost condescending for a random man to call a random woman like that. But here it's just purely polite and affectionate. So cute.
Later on James took us pub hopping. At the first one, his friend gave his cheap drinks. I had a delicious hard cider and Kris and James were scoping out the girls with the colored hair. I asked why they both liked that and they both agreed that "girls with colored hair are down to fuck." and I said I bet they loved that reputation.
We sat there for a while people watching and chatting and then moved on to a few other places, having a drink in each. They were all playing really fun disco music and I loved it. At the third bar we were in I finally got to do a proper photo bomb! I've always wanted to do that. I was standing right near a group of 4 people who stood up with their arms around each other while another friend took their picture. I popped up behind them, right in between two of their heads, and I'm sure I looked like a complete freak. They didn't notice at the time, but I'm sure when they look at it tomorrow they'll laugh.
We went back home around 12:30 and James invited a friend of his over. She was really fun and we all hung out for a couple of hours in the living room, before going to bed around 3 in the morning.
Day 7, September 14
This morning Kris and I were both a bit "roughed up" and James was "rough as fuck", which comes out sounding like "roof as fook" with their awesome accent. That's way more fun to say than "hung over". We actually woke up to James knocking on our door saying that it was noon and the football game started two hours before he thought it did, so we needed to get up if we were going to go with him and watch it.
So we did. He actually left before us and we met him there and he drew us a little map so we wouldn’t get lost:
We made some quick eggs and coffee and stopped on the way to put a load of laundry in at the "launderette". It was 3 pounds, or roughly $4.60 for a wash! Crazy, right? And 1 pound for every 15 minutes of time in the dryer. Totally worth it as travelers, but on the regular that would suck.
We met James at a cute little pub called Montpelliers and watched the end of the match. It was Manchester United vs Crystal Palace(?). Kris and James had this funny exchange:
Kris: Is Crystal Palace a city?
James: Hmmm, No - I think it's a town.
Kris: What's the difference?
James; Well, you can only be a city if you've got a Cathedral
Kris: That's fucking weird
James: That's England for ya, mate!
Afterwards Kris and I were hungry at about 3:30 - the absolute perfect time to have afternoon tea, as they don't even start serving it until 2:30. I like how afternoon tea is really a thing over here. It's not just some novel thing that we have americanized and ruined. Real British people regularly sit and have afternoon tea. We went to the most adorable little place called Teacup on Thomas. They had a funny sign on the bathroom that was a great example of how overly polite they are here (and the photo of it was taken by Kris as he was actively shitting)
After that we walked all around Manchester and saw some really great shit. It is a really adorable town. There’s cute little pubs on every corner. A bit later we went into a pub called Thomas' Chop House because they were highly rated and had a dish called "lamb faggots". We went up to the host stand and the host was an adorable British guy in a 3 piece suit. He said they were full at the moment - he had a table that was on dessert, but he was afraid they may linger and then we may miss being able to order food since their kitchen was closing soon. I asked if there was anywhere else in the area he recommended and he said they had a sister restaurant called "Sam's" and he's call over and see if they had room. That would just never happen in America. It just wouldn't. Everyone is so totally genuine here and they treat you like an old friend. So, he called to the other place and told them we'd be coming. Then he walked us out of the restaurant so that he could show us how to get to the other one.
We walked in to Sam's and the cute host guy there was expecting us. We waited just a few minutes and then sat and had the most amazing fish and chips EVER.
Here we are, hust a couple of dorks, waiting for a table + fish and chips in the front and chicken kiev in the back:
Day 8, September 15
This morning was super lazy and lovely. We made breakfast and coffee with James and hung out watching and making fun of British reality TV.
A bit later Kris and I went downstairs to Fig & Sparrow - the coffee shop that is right underneath James' building. We were plotting and scheming our next move, sending couch surfing requests, seeing which little towns we were near that we might want to explore and other things like that.
Around 4pm we went back upstairs and hung out with James until his roommate, James, came home and we could all go out to Sunday dinner. The other James turned out to be totally adorable. He was tall, lean, and blonde curly haired just like our James.
Following the twin James' thru Manchester to our Sunday dinner spot:
This pub we went to, Kozmanots, was so goddamn delicious. England gets a bad rap for food, but we've had nothing but great food in Manchester. This Sunday dinner consisted of little Yorkshire puddings, roasted potatoes, mashed potatoes, individual meat pies, roasted broccoli and carrots, and grilled chunks of butternut squash. Oh, and a little pitcher filled with the best gravy ever to pour over everything.
After dinner James had a date with a tidy bird he was really excited about. Hot girls are called Tidy Birds and frumpy fugly girls are called piggy doggies. Hilarious.
While he was on his date, Kris and I went for a walk through gay town. It was super gay and cute. Then we stumbled upon a really cute cinema/bookstore/bar/coffee shop. We sat for a while and got our travel plans for the next few days situated. One thing I'll never do again is fly by the seat of my pants when I'm traveling on a budget. Spontaneous travel is fun if you don't have to worry about money. But we're on a budget. So planning at the last minute is super frustrating because it's not a matter of just oh we wanna go here so we'll hop on the train and crash at this B&B. It's like - searching and searching for the cheapest plane, train or bus ticket and going through ad after ad on Airbnb looking for the nicest looking place that's cheap but also not skeezy. Such a time suck and something I'd much rather have had planned beforehand. But, we didn't know. And this is the only part of the trip that isn't planned so that's good.
After we got out shit squared away we took a brisk walk through the rain back home.
Day 9, September 16
This morning was super funny. James didn't come home until 9 o'clock in the morning from his Sunday afternoon date, so when we woke up at 11 and stumbled into the living room (where he was sleeping) he was still rough as fuck from the night before.
We ended up hanging out with him for a couple of hours and having a super lazy morning since he was blowing off work. And again we watched British reality T.V. and made fun of it - particularly - that dating show where three girls make dinner for the same guy and then he rates them. So totally sexist and hilarious.
We bought James a blanket the second day we were here because he gave us his blanket and he was sleeping with some shitty mattress cover. Such a dude for you. But it turns out he totally fucking loves the blanket we bought him - it's like Kris with his little blanket "orangie". Every time we see James on the couch he's snuggled up to it - eating, watching T.V., sleeping - it's so funny.
Eventually we made our way to the train station and went to Buxton - a nearby town that James recommended exploring.
We passed so many other cute looking towns on the way with cute little names like Chapel-en-le-Frith.
Once we arrived, it was cold, rainy, and we were super hungry. First order of business was finding somewhere to have afternoon tea. We ended up going to the #6 Tea Room and it was super delicious - traditional finger sandwiches, huge scones with a big dish of clotted cream, and some yummy little pastries on the bottom. And a big pot of earl grey.
Afterwards we bundled up and walked through a big garden that was super quaint and picturesque.
Then we came across a really beautiful cemetery. It was small and all of the grave markers were from the early 1800's. Many of them were families buried all in the same grave. And lots of young children. It felt like going back in time, wandering through there, reading everyone's head stones.
Buxton also had a beautiful opera house. Back at the train station we saw another funny sign that read: We kindly request that customers conclude their telephone conversations before approaching the counter.
We headed back to James' for the evening and it turned out both James' were home. It was out last night so we all made dinner and lounged on the couch talking and watching T.V. and having a great time. Then the James' put on a British move called Dead Man's Shoes. Fuck, it was great in the beginning - super funny, but towards the middle it got way graphic and I couldn't stop thinking about it as I was going to sleep so I made Kris read out loud to me from his book, "Fargo Rock City" to distract me. That worked. I’m sad we leave tomorrow!!