Did you smell my fart, or are you sexting? {NYC 2013}

Day 1, September 8th

We started off our trip by stopping in NYC for a few days to break up the travel time and ease into the time change. This is a pretty special trip we had planned that is mostly made up of staying with friends and Airbnb guests we’ve hosted, so we’re psyched to have built in friends and tour guides for this month long adventure.

Our friend Denise connected us with her friend Matt who let us crash on his futon while we were in NYC. The first night we got there we just got White Castle (so novel!) and crashed out.

The next morning we woke up to a text from our friend, Sarah, who was working a travel nurse gig in New Haven, saying she would be at Grand Central in 30 minutes so we hauled ass out of bed and met her in the city. Then we all ducked into a french cafe across from Bryant Park and got ourselves some coffee and muffins to sustain us on our walk to Tea & Sympathy.

We walked and talked and ate for 30 blocks and got right into the tea house, which is rare because it’s super tiny. We talked a lot about books we are each reading: Placenta: The Forgotten Chakra (me) and The Holographic Universe (Sarah).

After lunch we walked along Highline Park for a bit, which is a beautiful park built on top of old railroad tracks that sit several stories above street level.’

Then we walked down Bleecker to Murray's Cheese shop where we sampled tons and bought some cheese and chocolate milk. From there we walked all the way down to the Staten Island Ferry, passing Ground Zero and Battery Park on the way. The ferry is free and gives you fantastic views of the city each way.

From the ferry we walked along the water for a bit and then started wandering around sniffing out dinner. We walked for a while having to get through the dead-after-5pm financial district and the touristy Chinatown/Little Italy. Finally we broke through and found an adorable Italian cafe called Fiat. It was good, and cheap. Sarah had prosciutto/melon/mint bruschetta and ricotta/sage ravioli. Kris had a dish with thick home made pasta, duck, mushrooms and sauce, and I had bruschetta with tomatoes, garlic, parsley and cannelloni beans.

After dinner we stumbled on the Little Cupcake Bakeshop and I had the best cupcake of my entire life, it was called The Dreaming Princess. Seriously. It was an almond cake topped with almond buttercream, berry jam, meringue and sliced almonds. It was to die for. Kris had an individual raspberry cheesecake and Sarah had a yummy looking raspberry bar. It was all orgasmic.

At one point, I let out a silent but very smelly fart. About 2 seconds later Sarah slowly looked up at me with a mischievous look on her face. I said, "Are you just now smelling my fart?.....Or are you sexting?"

Day 2, September 9th

This morning we slept late and around 11 started rolling around on the futon, waking up, and thinking about breakfast. We took the train a few stops down to Root Hill Cafe and had coffee and almond croissants while planning out the day. Kris wanted to go to Adam Yauch Park and the walk over took us through some lovely Brooklyn neighborhoods. He wanted me to take a photo to prove to everyone on Facebook that he was there:

Then we walked down to Brooklyn Bridge Park, but got a tiny bit fucked because the park wasn't totally finished, so we couldn't actually walk all the way to the bridge without back tracking, but we made it down near the bridge and sat on a grassy hill with a gorgeous view of the sky line.

After hanging out for a while, we started looking for food and stumbled upon a cute sidewalk cafe and had the best polish food we've ever had in our lives. Kris got a big plate of pierogis and I had 3 potato pancakes. The side dish of sour cream was as big as my face.

After that it was around 4pm and we headed back home to shit, shower and change to go into the city. Around 6pm we made it to the french cafe near Bryant Park. We weren’t totally hungry, but figured it’d be smart to eat something before we sat for 3 hours for Phantom. Kris had a waaaaay overpriced ham and cheese sandwich, but thankfully my strawberry shortcake was to die for - it had super fresh berries, fresh cream and a buttery biscuit. After eating we considered hanging out in Bryant Park, but there was some obnoxious lady with a microphone leading about 200 people through a square dance lesson. We got as far away from that as possible and ended up hanging out on the steps of the New York Public Library for a bit.

We saw the 8pm show and our seats were fucking awesome. The show itself was pretty amazing too, it's baffling what they can do with costumes and stage effects. I totally bought that they were on a fucking boat. The show got out around 11 and we were starving. We started Yelping nearby restaurants, but it's all touristy crap catering to the theater crowd, or crappy diners since it's so late. It dawned on me that we weren’t that far from Cafeteria, so we hopped on a quick train downtown. Kris was stoked to get their amazeballs chicken and waffles and I had the super delicious meatloaf plate.

The table next to us was a couple on literally the worst and most awkward first date ever. It was a black guy and a white girl and when the food came out, the white girl said, "Bon Apetit" and the black guy said, "Huh?" and had literally no idea what she was talking about and it was so cringey and funny. Then he asked her if she liked to dance and she exclaimed, "Yes! I just took a west coast swing lesson a few days ago."

He asked, "What's that?"

And then the real winner was when she announced excitedly, "Oh! I have a cousin who's black!"

Day 3, September 10th

This morning we slept late again, woke up and started googling coffee shops. We decided on Everyman Espresso and hopped on the train into the city.

Only in New York will two coffees and two donuts set you back $12. But it was good shit! We sat in the bay window and people watched for awhile. Then we walked up to Washington Square Park and the atmosphere there is always so perfect - today there was a one man band (Accordion player + foot drums) and the fountain was in full swing and there were shit tons of people.

We were lounging on the grass behind a row of benches and out of the corner of my eye I saw a girl yelling, "Patrick! Patrick!" at this guy. He turned around and saw her, but didn't look as happy. At this point Kris noticed too and we were both intently watching. The chick came up to Patrick and his friend and was all like, "Hey! What are you doing down here? I thought you were supposed to be at work" And Patrick was like, "We just came over here for lunch" and chick is like, "You came all the way down here for lunch? When you work way up town?" and we were like.....ohmygod this dude is so busted.....maybe he's having a gay affair or something.

Either way - it's so much fun to watch. They were saying some more stuff that I couldn't quite understand, but it culminated with the chick yelling something about how if he lost his job the least he could've done is told his wife! And he mumbled something about how they'll talk about it later and she yells yeah, but not from home because he's not living there anymore or something like that. And then she stormed off. And Kris and I were both like....holy crap I can't believe we just saw that.

But then a few minutes later, a camera man came over to a guy on a bench that had inadvertently been a part of the scene and thanked him for being a good sport, and then explained that they're an improv troupe practicing. Ha!

After hearing that, we went up to the girl from the scene and told her how awesome she was and how we totally bought it. She said they are with the Upright Citizens Brigade and they are basically walking around the park fucking with people all day.

A little while later we went into Whole Foods to pee, but you needed a receipt code to access the bathroom so we bought a big glass of kombucha from the tap, peed, and went across to Union Square to drink the delicious booch and eat our Cafeteria leftovers. There was a fantastic fast paced jazz band playing on the side walk that we listened to for close to an hour.

Around 4pm we took the train up 5th avenue and popped into St. Patricks Cathedral. Then we bought a lot of truffles in the Lindt Store and sat in Central Park to eat them all. Look at all these birds on fifth avenue!

Afterwards, we walked up to Murray's Cheese Shop for grilled sandwiches. I got a goat cheese/portobello/roasted red pepper/caramelized onion and Kris had a cheddar and bacon. We sat on a bench outside to eat and several people walked by, checked out our sandwiches, and then turned around to go inside to get their own.

Then we walked to Little Cupcake Bakeshop so I could get another Dreaming Princess cupcake. Kris tried the white chocolate raspberry cheesecake. Both are to die for. We sat on a bench outside people watching for a good 30 minutes and it was non stop entertainment. I probably thought "Only in New York" about a dozen times that day, when seeing or hearing things like this:

-A sign that says "Primp Your Pram! Stroller Detailing!
-A man in a wizard hat with a sign that says, "Tarot Card Reader"
-Two men scrubbing the sidewalk with soap outside of their store front
-A guy asleep in and office chair right in the middle of the sidewalk
-A man sitting in a fancy camping chair, with his feet up on a big cooler, laptop out just camped on the sidewalk outside of an office building
-A black kid yelling across the park, "Mami! Push me outta that coochie!"

Day 4, September 11th

Today is our 3 year anniversary and we started it by take train to the lower east side and walking around Alphabet City. I like that area because the subways don't come to that neighborhood at all, so you'd have to walk or take a bus, which most tourists wouldn't do. So it feels like a very authentic part of the city. We walked around Tompkins Square Park and then arrived at Ninth Street Espresso. They only serve espresso and you choose the amount of steamed milk ordering either 3, 6, 9, or 12 ounces. Kris chose a 3 ounce, and it was one of the best he'd ever had - he ordered a second one strait away. We also shared a chocolate croissant (buttery, flaky and the perfect amount of soft chocolate chunks) and a home made pop tart - that was insane. Totally melted in your mouth. And you can sit in the window with a lovely view of the park.

Afterwards we continued on our way down 7th Street on this walk. We really enjoyed following it, and it was by far one of the cutest streets in New York. Like - look at this store front!

The walk ended near Butter Lane Bakery where you make your own cupcake, so we went in to get a couple. You can choose vanilla, chocolate or banana cake and they have a variety of frostings. Afterwards we went back to Washington Square and lounged in the grass. It was hot as hell and super humid so the shade felt so nice.

We grabbed some food from the buffet at Space Market. New York has amazing buffets - always a variety of hot and cold food and it's all super fresh and delicious. We took it back to the park for a little picnic before heading home to pack.

We took a train to the airport for our overnight flight to Dublin and it wasn't bad and actually went by really fast. Aer Lingus has a nice entertainment system and they feed you dinner and do several beverage services. And we were in our own row since they do the 2-3-2 configuration, so that was really nice.