3 Days in Denmark + the Terror of a Horny Deer {Copenhagen 2013}
Day 22, September 29
On our first morning in Copenhagen, we Skype'd with my sister. She did a fashion show of the lingerie set she bought for her anniversary. It had a cat's face on the butt of the underwear. It was $120, handmade, silk. I gasped at the price, but she reminded me - "Think of all the underwear I haven't bought in the last 5 years..." This is true, as she never ever wears underwear. Even with jeans.
Around lunch time, we headed out with Klaus to meet up with Viktor and they both took us on a guided walk of the city. It was so fantastic to not have to think about anything, and to just follow around locals.
We walked up to this huge container ship - the largest one in the world - that is currently docked in Copenhagen. We walked along the water for awhile, checked out the Marble Church, some royal buildings, and then got take-out at tiny Italian place run by a real Italian guy. Kris got amazeballs lasagna, I got a roast beef sandwich and we had tiramisu to split - one of the best I've ever had. We ate it here:
Then we walked up to the top of this crazy ass church - Church of Our Savior. It was basically like paying to experience my own worst nightmare. It was 400 steps to the top. I counted because that was the only thing I could do to keep me from spazzing out since I'm afraid of heights. But it was worth it.
Afterwards they took us to this crazy village - Christiania. They have completely separated themselves from the rest of the country....and it’s sort of like Vatican City - a city within a city. It was full of amazing art, beautiful houses, cafes, cool people and tons of weed and hash that everyone was selling just like a booth at a farmer's market. It was the craziest thing I have ever seen in my life. There were older people, young people, babies, kids, dogs - all just playing and having a great time. They don't allow pictures, but I took these two before I found that out.
Day 23 Monday, September 30th
This morning we were on our own exploring Copenhagen and decided to go and check out this restaurant that was buried deep within a city park. Then I had a fucking near death experience coming face to face with a horny male deer. I had read that this park is fantastic for deer watching - particularly from mid September to the 1st week of October. How perfect is that? So, we thought a lovely start to our day would be to check out this fucking park, obviously having no idea that it would be a death trap.
It started out as a beautiful woodsy park. We saw a cute little deer off in the distance eating grass. Another deer by the path just hanging out. It was amazing to see so many deer up close like that! I have never seen anything like it.
And then - the roar. OHMYGOD the roar of a horny deer will haunt my dreams forever. We're just walking along, like a couple of dopey tourists, taking pictures of the cute ass deer when out of nowhere this HUGEASS deer with the most gigantic horns I've ever seen in my life starts roaring and running around.
They’re running towards the female deers, sure.
But also running across our walking path and totally making eye contact with the humans. I was just not having it. My boyfriend went closer than I did. Plus, he just wanted to get to the restaurant, which was farther into the park. But this involved crossing the path of the horny deer. No fucking way. I took this video which doesn't even come close to capturing the roaring:
Kris kept trying to get me to calm down saying things like:
He's just trying to ascertain humans from deers
He's just lookin for some deer pussy
He just wants to drop some seed
None of that worked.
Eventually the bull deer ran off deep into the park and hopefully got laid and calmed the fuck down. At the other end of the park we came to this really beautiful old amusement park. It was closed for the season, but was totally open so you could walk through it. It was a little eerie walking through a totally lifeless amusement park like that. But it was really cool.
Later on Kris commented about the dog shit situation. Denmark is super clean and orderly, but there is dog shit everywhere. Strange. We passed a little girl on the street and I said, "Oh my god she's so cute!" Kris said, "Yeah. She was Danish as fuck."
Later on we were arguing and it prompted him to say, "I'm going to take a shit on your face while you're sleeping."
I was rambling on and on about something and I said, "Do you sometimes wish I had an off switch?" He said, "No! Of course not." Then a few minutes later he said, "Well, if you had an off switch - I'd turn you off and fuck you in your ass."
We had dinner back at the house with Klaus and his 5 roommates. I still can’t get over that they are all in their super early 20s and live in this big stylish house that's decorated really nice and has great furniture and is very clean and orderly. They all take turns cooking and share meals every night and live in such harmony together. You would just never ever see a group of 20 something guys living like that in the U.S. I am so glad we got to come here and spend some time. Also here’s some Danish cartoon porn:
