Better-Than-The-Real-Thing Peanut Butter Cups
I really like this recipe because it's quick, simple, and the ingredients don't break the bank like some healthy raw whatever desserts do.
I'm not going to post 2500 step by step photos and tell you some personal bull shit stories along the way. It's a peanut butter cup. Here's how the fuck to make it. What else would we really talk about anyway?
Take 1/2 cup of almonds and grind them into a "meal" in your Vitamix. You could also use a coffee grinder. Unless you have some fancy ass nut and spice grinder. (Be careful not to under-grind, otherwise it'll be too gritty, but don't you fuckin' over-grind cuz then you'll have almond butter.)
A word about almonds. They need to be soaked. I'm not going to go into here, but you can google it for loads of great info. The gist of it is - almonds are coated in tannins and enzyme inhibitors that make them difficult to digest. Once soaked, the inhibitors are removed and the nutrients of the almond become available. Whenever I buy almonds I immediately soak them overnight, and then dehydrate them so they're just ready to go when I need them.
If you don't want to dick with soaking almonds or grinding them, you can use 3/4 cup of store bought almond flour/meal. But just know that you're cheating yourself. And also that buying already ground flour of any kind is essentially buying a dead food that has oxidized and kind of pointless to eat.
Mix your almond meal, in whatever fucking fashion you got it, with the rest of this shit (and try to make it organic. Unless you want your peanut butter cups with a side of pesticides and other grody junk):
2 T of any fucking kind of nut butter.
2 T coconut oil, melted
1 T pure maple syrup (honey or any other sweetener is not the fucking same. You need the rich warm maple flavor. Don't do this if you're not going to do it right.)
1/4 tsp salt
The thing here is that you have to make these peanut butter cups as individuals. You can't make a big batch in an 8x8 brownie pan and think you're going to cut it up. The chocolate will crack and they will look like shit.
And you can't make them in a regular muffin pan and think they're going to magically fall out, or that you'll be able to get them out without fucking them up. I guess maybe if you used paper liners, but I cannot attest to that. Plus that's just wasteful.
So much of the greatness of these peanut butter cups is that they actually look like peanut butter cups with the fucking ridges on the sides and everything. So I use individual silicone muffin cups - they just peel right off once the shit is set in the fridge. If you don't have silicone muffin cups and you don't want to go to Bed Bath and Beyond and spring for them, well then I have no suggestions for you. Good luck.
So let's just assume you have the proper cups.
Take a tablespoon and use it as scoop. Put one scoop into each muffin cup and press it down with your little fingers.
Set up a double boiler situation. I usually just put a mixing bowl on top of a small saucepan that has an inch or so of simmering water happening. Melt 3T of coconut oil in the bowl. To that, add 3T pure maple syrup (don't fucking substitute), 2T cacao powder, and a pinch of salt. Using an electric whisk, or the sheer strength of your arms and a non-electric whisk, mix that shit up right nice. This is an important step. If you don't mix it with a mighty force and incorporate it all together, it will not emulsify and will just separate later. In a gross way - it'll be messy and the maple syrup will ooze out the sides and it's just not a good scene.
Get your cute little measuring spoon again and put 1 tsp of chocolate on top of each muffin cup. If you have extra, I mean - c'mon. Think for yourself. Either drizzle it into your mouth immediately, or give a few of the cups a little extra.
Put the adorable muffin cups of joy in the freezer to set. Takes a solid hour or so. Then peel off the liners and they are fine and stay solid stored in the fridge.
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