A Month in Duns (Scottish Borders) December 2020
It was bittersweet to leave Edinburgh after a really great month, but at the same time we were looking forward to being in a less crowded city - Duns, which is a small as fuck town in the Scottish Borders. We found Duns via our Airbnb searching that we last-minute had to do when our Scottish Workaway hosts ditched us. There wasn’t a whole lot left to choose from at that point, but even so - Duns seemed nice enough, and it was.
Our travel day was super easy because it wasn’t that far, but it wasn’t without its fuckery. From Edinburgh we took a 40 minute train ride to Berwick-Upon-Tweed - we were in first class LNER and even though it was a short ride, they still gave us sandwiches and drinks. The train attendant lady who took our order was so adorable - I understood that she had to take each passengers drink and food order separately, but Kris wasn’t listening because I ordered my sandwich and started to order my drink as he started trying to order his sandwich, but the lady and I both made a jab at him and told him to wait his turn. How come everyone in the U.K. is so goddamn pleasant?
Once we were in Berwick, we had a bit of a wait and weren’t sure what to do. The train station was super small so there were no services and there was a B&B across the street, but we suddenly felt strange asking them to hold our bags. It was also really cold, so - what were we going to do anyway? The town itself was adorable and we figured we’d start by just walking over and finding our bus stop. It took us a minute and we switched sides of the street a couple of times before we got it straight. The bus rolled up though and took cash only, which was hella gay. So we had to wait for the next bus, even if we could’ve gotten cash, because it’s not like they’ll wait for you, but it turns out the next bus, which was operated by a different company, had a proper app and weren’t dicks. BUT that put us at an hour waiting in the windy ass cold at an outdoor bus stop. I had to pee, so Kris waited with our shit and I just started wandering around hoping to find somewhere.
Ultimately I went into a Costa and got a chai latte to be polite and peed and the fucking chai was like the best I’ve ever had. I walked back to the bus stop and we considered taking our shit to the Costa, but ended up just waiting at the bus stop. The bus was empty and the ride was of course beautiful and took us right into the center of Duns, which was about the cutest most quaint looking town center ever. I feel like that’s just so ordinary in Scotland though. Also we arrived at dusk and there was a tree in the center and just. What the fuck.
We decided to get groceries quickly so we didn’t have to go back out. I left Kris again at the bus stop with our stuff and power walked to the Co-op to grab a couple of ready meals and snacks just for the evening. Then we hoofed it to our Airbnb, which was super close. It was a big house and we were staying in the annex, but it was super fucking unclear where to go and the host was nowhere to be found, there was no note or signage, nothing. We knocked on the door of the main house and she came to the door, but seemed flustered and annoyed and just pointed us towards the back of the property, still with no real instruction.
Which was pretty fucked up because what you do is walk up a long driveway to a building in the back and there’s a couple of different doors. And once you go in the correct outside door, you are inside of a hallway with a bunch of other doors - that go to the main house, to their backyard, etc. Again with no signage or anything telling guests where to go. So you walk down the hallway and are met with another hallway and a bunch more doors going to a workshop, a home office, a laundry room etc. and then there’s a random staircase. Well whatdoya fuckin know - you’re supposed to go up the staircase?? Like how the fuck would you know that?? And even such - at the top of the stairs is once again another unmarked door that doesn’t at all look like a “front door”. And then when you go in said door you’re staring right into a bathroom and that’s it. So it’s not even immediately clear it’s the fucking Airbnb apartment. So fucking dumb and the gayest welcome. Fuck that stupid host. She was a further cunt remarking that she didn’t think we’d need to do laundry right away after I asked her politely to just let me know when the washer was free because it was in the fucking basement and we didn’t want to keep walking all the way down there to check. What a goddamn hosebeast.
ANYWAY. The place itself was cute at a glance, but ultimately had more flaws than not. But the good things are it was big - large kitchen with a giant table and chairs, a big living room with a wood burner and a big bedroom. The gay as shit parts were the bathroom was a literal fucking ice box. We kept all our teeth brushing stuff in the kitchen and everything else in our room and didn’t use the bathroom for anything other than what was absolutely necessary. And the fucking bathtub was made of ceramic so it was like actual ice - like there was no shower, so you had to “shower” in the bathtub but you had to sit down because there was no shower curtain, but to sit down - you would have to put a few inches of hot water in the bottom first otherwise you’d freeze your fucking nuts off. Half the time though I would just stand because fuck it. And then if you ran a bath, even at full hot, the water would barely be warm enough because the ice cube of a tub sucked the life out of it.
The fireplace was nice for the first couple of weeks, though we were over it by the end because it was so high maintenance. Oh, who am I kidding - KRIS was over it. I didn’t lift a finger having to do with that goddamn fire. But anyway - having a roaring fire in winter in Scotland was super fucking cozy.
The first day we got up and just set out to sort of get the lay of the land, get some proper groceries and just wander around. We ended up walking up the hill and stumbled upon the grounds of the Duns castle estate, which was really cool. The castle itself is private, but the grounds are public and there’s a big lake with a bunch of swans and ducks and a bunch of cool ass walking trails and a babbling brook and areas of dense forest and it was super fucking charming.
We got groceries on our way back and also popped into the fancy butcher and got a few individual pies - they were so fucking good. One of them was a cheeseburger pie and was sorta like a white castle cheeseburger in puff pastry. Our routine for the rest of our stay pretty much remained the same in that we’d sleep late, sorta stumble out for coffee, bum around the house and then get ready and go out for a walk for a couple of hours, come home for a late lunch, and then do some work in the later afternoons/evenings, I’d take a bath and watch Grace & Frankie, Kris builds a fire and then the later evening is spent ultimately making dinner and watching T.V.
We had a funny fake argument one day whilst making dinner:
Me: I forgot to set a timer, ugh
Him: That is so like you.
Me: Eat my shit hole, it's been a day!
Him: Yer so crass.
Me: You could stand to be a little nicer to me!!
Him: (totally seriously) Really?
Me: Oh my gawd no you're the absolute best
Him: Oh okay good, fuck you and gimme some ice cream.
England had been in various forms of lockdown, but Scotland had yet to be - until the day after Christmas, when they went into Tier 4, the highest tier. As far as being in Duns though - it didn’t really affect us as we don’t have kids in school, jobs outside the home, friends, etc. You were still allowed to go to the grocery store and do other essential stuff, and go outside for exercise. Since that was all we did anyway, we didn’t really feel it. Duns itself had a few cafes, but nothing that looked particularly amazing so even once the cafes shut, it didn’t make too much of a difference.
One of the days we went into a charity shop to try and find a winter coat for me. I didn’t see any coats, but ended up getting this thick wool sweater that so far has done the trick. The second picture is of Kris waiting for “the perfect moment”, and then the third one is our walk into town after dark, which is anytime after the sun sets at 3:45 pm, which is a real trip.
One night we were looking at meat thermometers because we’re really missing having one. He saw this ridiculously overpriced one and said,“ It's like $85. What asshole buys a goddamn meat thermometer for $85. That's the dumbest fuckin thing I've ever seen.”
There were so many cool walks around the castle grounds and that became our go-to. My boyfriend loves the ducks especially. Also funny was that Kris got new boots in Edinburgh and we were debating what to do with his old ones that hurt his feet. I decided to try them and they worked great - and they saved my ass in cold ass wet ass muddy ass Scotland.
One day we decided to send Kris’ grandparents a box of funny shit from the grocery store, and another day we made a little town tour video for Kris’ mom after she liked his commentary on his house tour video.
About half way through our stay we discovered the public park, which was literally across the street from the house but we just hadn’t gone into it yet out of pure laziness. It’s funny, too - it is behind a wall of shrubs and a huge iron gate so you can’t at all tell what’s going on from the outside. And it looks like a speck of dust on the map, it’s so small. But on the inside - it was so beautiful - a big green space and benches and a playground, and the ass end of the park led to a few other fantastic walking trails. One of them was like a proper countryside trail, too.
Another day we did that same walk, but went farther and decided to follow it all the way into the next village…that was sorta cool, but it ended up raining. And on the way back we were walking along a busy road in the shoulder and decided to cut into the forest and walk along a stream that we saw…but when we got into the forest there was a big drop and we climbed all around, but just couldn’t figure a good way to follow it instead of the road without taking a fucking tumble, so we had to hike back out because nobody wants a goddamn broken ankle, amitrite?
And just to sort of keep it interesting, we’d do walks “backwards” so it seemed different, or if we wanted to make it a longer route. We started doing that with the castle where we’d walk through town first, enter the castle at the ass end, and then end up at the lake with the ducks. Oh and also - the fucking lake is called Hen Poo Lake. Who’s fucking idea was that? I’d like to meet them.
We were here over Christmas and New Year’s as well, which was really weird. It’s still strange to have those days be like any other days, but it was like a thousand times easier to be over here alone than to be sitting in Phoenix alone. It felt like it was more our choice, combined with the lockdown, than we were just lonely in Phoenix being forgotten. New Years Eve actually wasn’t that bad. We had a fun night just goofing off and hanging out together. And on December 31, 2020 @ 11:47pm we had this funny fake argument:
Him: I think I have a shit in me. But i don't wanna be shittin' at midnight.
Me: Oh my gawd just go right now and get it over with!!!
And he did, with three minutes to spare, and we were in bed with a Seinfeld at midnight, as per usual. Then on New Years Day he started the year off with this winner:
“I fuckin hate this blanket. It just falls on the floor and leaves me fucked.”
We also reflected on how well we had done with crypto and how much we had been able to save and invest and it sort of felt like all of our hopes for the future were that much closer. That was a fun way to end the year. In a way, this has been the most successful year for us of all time. I wonder where we’ll be at this time next year. I feel like it’s going to be a lot different.
A few days after the new year we said goodbye to Duns and headed to our next stop in Perth (Scotland) where we rented an apartment in the town center for January and February.