Bearsted, England / June 30th - July 22, 2023

Holy fuck, it was such a relief to land back in England after that shit-tastic experience in France. We have an open week in August in between housesits where we were thinking of visiting a friend in Germany or otherwise going out somewhere for a sort of “vacation” week….but as we were on the tram in Bordeaux heading to the airport for our flight to England - I was like….uh, I think I’m kinda done doing this. I can’t schlep our stuff around anymore, I just want to find another housesit for that week and stay in England.

Budget travel is….well it’s its own thing. You know? And it wears on you. And we have already done so much of it this trip that I was just kinda tired. Kris was in the same place so we decided we’d just look for another sit for that open week.

Anyway! We flew from France and landed at Gatwick and once again were picked up by our housesitting hosts in Bearsted. That was so cool! And the guy was super nice. His name was Richard and on the drive back to the house he told us about how he started a social media marketing company about 15 years ago, before remote work was even a thing. And he made it his mission to employ stay-at-home moms, because he knew so many awesome women who wanted to work, but also needed the flexibility to be with their children. So that was neato!

We pulled up to the house and his wife, Fiona, was in the kitchen making us all a yummy dinner. It was getting dark out at that point so we all went out into the garden first so she could show us the plant care stuff. Then we sat down and ate and ended up sitting up with them until after midnight just chatting. Fiona was a hoot and was dropping f-bombs and otherwise being super witty and fun. She’s 56 and super sassy and we just had so much to talk about.

Eventually we went to bed and then the next morning came down for a bit to see them before they left. It was just cats though, so they didn’t take us out on an ass fuck of a walk first thing! Also holy shit we’re only doing cats from now on, fuck me they’re so easy.

After Richard and Fiona left, we started getting settled. The house was so colorful and warm and inviting, it was very easy to feel at home there. Also the books!! And the kitchen with the wall of windows, and the lush as fuck garden. It was so nice. And having the cats was such a fucking treat. Cats are the best. They just dgaf. In the best way possible. Fucking dogs….man, they’re codependent! We will not be doing dogs again at future sits, that’s for sure.

This isn’t as bad as the beam in the French housesit, but still - what the actual fuck?? You can easily hit your head on the corner of that weird wall chunkie as you’re getting in or out of bed:

We had a very chill first day as there was enough food in the pantry and freezer that we did not have to go to the store right away, which is always nice.

By the next day though, we were ready. There was an Aldi a bit farther away than we wanted to walk or carry groceries, so we decided to take their bikes. That was fuckin adventure, ha. It was mostly pedestrian paths, but there were several areas of incline where we just hopped off and walked our bikes. Then we got up to a curve towards a road that had a bunch of road closed signs. But that road was the only way to the store. Thankfully there was a nice old lady on foot who walked up to us and said she saw us looking confused and wanted to let us know that the road was passable for pedestrians - she had just come from that way. So that was nice!

And it ended up being really fun to ride through there with no traffic. The ride back was even better because there was a slight downward incline so you could pedal super fast and then just coast and fly like the wind. It was so much fun and I felt like a little kid.

Also groceries are absolutely cheaper here. For all that we got, I feel like it would’ve been nearly double back in the U.S. This haul was about $40":

This is just my boyfriend being a goofball.

Me: Would you say rice is your favorite food?

Him: Yeah. I just like the texture and the way it tastes. Plus it just goes right thru you and you just shit it out.

A few days later we walked to the Tesco superstore - mostly for shits, but also to see if it was feasible to ride bikes there and do a larger shop - it was a bit on the outskirts of town, so it would’ve been too far to walk with a bunch of heavy bags of groceries. It totally wasn’t, so I’m glad we walked the route first. It was a lovely walk though! This area is super posh and all the houses are so pretty and the paths are just beautiful.

I took lots of daytime baths and spent lots of time lounging on the patio looking at any number of cookbooks from their massive collection.

Another day we walked to a nearby park and it was just lush as fuck. It reminded me of Connecticut in that it was just so well laid out, there were loads of paths, a pond, large green spaces, loads of benches and shade and it was so well maintained.

As we were leaving the house for a walk, he said:

”Should we bring our it raincoats? Well if it rains, were gonna be eating so much ass.”

(5 minutes later)

“I just really hope God doesn't piss all over our plans.”

One day we had a big Tesco delivery and it’s really funny and always so chaotic, I don’t know why we never learn. Basically they don’t bag your groceries, so they just show up with these huge plastic bins of food. I’d imagine a normal person probably meets them at the door with - you know -- fucking groceries bags to chuck it all into. But we didn’t and we just took everything and chucked it in the entry way like idiots. It’s so awkward though!

Another funny thing was our bathroom - there was a window in it and it was relatively close to the ground, so the cats could jump up and go through it. But we didn’t put that together right away. So one night I was brushing my teeth and the cat comes thru the bathroom window and my soul leaves my body. I started hysterically laughing and told Kris, and he’s all--

Kris: did he come up thru the window?

Me: no, he came up thru the fucking toilet, yeah of course he came thru the fucking window.

(this is a picture of the window in the bathroom)

We spent plenty of days with the kitchen wall completely open, sitting at the table with the nice view. It was so peaceful and nice. It was even great on rainy days because you still had the view and felt like you were outside. Also morning coffee on that patio was the tits.

And Kris started his livestream while we were there! So that was exciting. His first episode he had a guest on the show - James, the really awesome guy we met back when we were in Scotland. James was new to technical analysis and to using Trading View, so they did a screenshare and Kris talked him through some of the basics and helped him get his account set up and it was just so great, they were so good together and it was such a good conversation.

One night we decided to take advantage of the pizza oven, so we made some dough from scratch and got pizza fixins. It came out pretty good and i was even able to make a dick shaped pizza, which of course is my signature.

We ate outside and My boyfriend's chair was in the sun and I saw him be annoyed at that.

I said: you can move your chair over here.

And he said: yeah, but I don't wanna have to. I want life to stop raw doggin' me.

Also just - did I mention the nice patio and garden?? It was just so lush. And all the flowers were popping off. We were literally picking handfuls of flowers every day and filling vases around the house.

The cats were cute too, and we only had one mouse incident -- there was half a mouse body at the bottom of the stairs one morning, but thankfully Kris was the first to come upon it. He asked me, “What would you have done if you would've gone downstairs first?”

Me: “I would've turned right back around and started yelling feminism! Red level! SOS! Extreme feminist situation….I mean what do you mean? What do you think I would've done?”

Him: “Oh', I know. I just wanted to hear you say it.”

We walked over to the pharmacy one day looking for floss picks, but we still couldn’t find any so we just bought a regular roll of dental floss. Later that night Kris said, “Oh my gawd I fucking hate floss. It blows my fuckin mind that anyone uses this shit. It's the biggest bunch of bullshit ever.”

Overall the village was just incredible. In every direction there was something to see and it was all so lush. One day we walked into the center of the village where there was as coffee shop, a few pubs, a church, and then the woodland trust.

All in all, we had the most fantastic time and this was by far our favorite sit so far!

3 Weeks in the Idyllic Village of Bearsted, U.K. (July 2023)