Helensburgh, Scotland / June 1-18, 2023

Hot damn, Scotland was fun! Coming off of a week in Budapest in an Airbnb, we were excited to head to our first housesitting gig -- albeit a little nervous that it was too good to be true. Thankfully it wasn’t! And they were a lot of other things about our time there that just made the experience as a whole really fucking fantastic.

The travel to get there was a real wizz banger. Like once JUST ONCE goddammit we are going to stick to one country and just take trains. Somehow we just can’t help ourselves. So yeah. It was a taxi to the Budapest airport, a flight to Gatwick, a long layover, and then a flight to Glasgow. Thankfully our hosts picked us up on that end. And it was a gorgeous drive back to their house through the Scottish countryside.

When we arrived, their house was just as beautiful as it looked in the photos and the garden was so quintessentially Scottish - beautifully manicured and lush.

We walked into a warm home cooked meal all ready for us. We did a quick run around the house with the hosts and dropped our bags upstairs in the guest room, and then we all settled into the big dining table in the kitchen to eat dinner together.

They were a really lovely couple who had lived in this house for 30 years. They were headed down to Cornwall the next morning for a 2.5 week family vacation. We were pretty knackered from the travel day so we didn’t last long at dinner before we were ready to go upstairs and pass out.

Then the next morning, we were up early because they needed to show us some more stuff before they left and take us on a walk around the neighborhood to show us where to take the dogs.

We’re realizing this is a thing with hosts and it honestly kind of sucks. Coming off of a crazy travel day, we’re just so fucked out. And then we get up and there isn’t even really time for breakfast before they’re just ready to go out the door and drag us on an hour+ walk. I think we just need to be a lot more forward in the future and eat fucking breakfast first and sort of meet our basic needs. Although it annoys me that they don’t ask or leave space for that? I don’t know. It’s a little weird. Also like. Just draw us a map? I don’t need to be shown, per se. Also it’s a dog, like. It’s not complicated.

ANYWAY.

We went on a nice walk, but it was strenuous and just kind of a lot for first thing in the morning and goddamn it just zapped us even further, we were back home and fucked out by 9am. Thankfully they left shortly after and we made a giant breakfast and showered and just fucking chilled out.

The dog was great -- it was just a 13 year old grandma lab. Thank fucking holy shit they took their other dog with them -- it was a 4 year old lab and was super rambunctious and that would’ve been a rill fuckin bummer. But grandma lab just slept all day and barely even wanted to go on walks.

The house itself was lovely, but the beds sucked ass. That’s honestly sometimes the worst part about travel. The bed situation. They only had super small double beds in each of their guest rooms, so we took a mattress from one room and dragged it into the other so that we could sleep in the same room and have enough space.

That first day we just lounged around the house. There was enough food in the pantry and the freezer that we were actually able to make a nice dinner without having to go to the store right away.

The next day we were juiced enough to go into town and check it out and it was cute as shit. The house is at the top of a hill, and it’s about 15 minutes walking to the bottom of the hill and the town center, which is bordered by the seafront. It was so charming. There was a really cute town square area where you could people watch and there were several cafes on the square. The main drag in town was right off the square and there were several different baller ass lookin’ butchers, grocery stores, pharmacies, more cafes, etc. And then along the seaside, there was a boardwalk close to the sea, and then right across the street there was a second “main drag” of pubs, ice cream shops, little boutiques, etc.

One of the boutiques was a lingerie shop and Kris said,

“I don't really like lingerie - it's like - just take your fuckin clothes off, get D to B”

Me: Dick to butt?

Him: Down to business.

There was also a Specsavers in town and Kris had a nice experience there a few years ago, so he went again since he needed a new pair of glasses.

Later on he said, “ The lady at Specsavers today asked what my plans were the rest of the day.”

Me: oh yeah? What'd you tell her?

Him: I just made somethin' up. What was I gonna say - "I dunno, probably look at some charts, have a wank

Me: haha, right - my girlfriend is making a lasagna…people don't really wanna know.

There were great walks right from our front door too. In one direction you could just walk through the neighborhood and the houses were off the chain. Most of them were just crazy big and super nice.

We also came across some funny street names like “Butt Avenue” and “Brodick Drive”. Like, seriously?? Brodick Drive?? We were dying. Especially in this really nice, prim and proper neighborhood. We started saying, “Are we going up the butt today?” when deciding where to walk.

One evening we were walking and I looked down a dead end street I had been wanting to check out. He could tell, and he said: “We can turn down that road some day…. But not today…. Daddy's gotta dump out.”

In another direction you could walk a bit farther uphill, through streets of even fancier houses, and you’d end up at a forrest-y walking path with sea views on one side and countryside views on another. It was mostly shaded and it crossed several little creeks. We passed lots of other walkers with their dogs and the majority of the dogs were off leash, including our grandma lab. Scottish dogs are all so well trained and so polite - there was literally zero issue. Like I’ve never been in a situation like that with a bunch of off leash dogs in close proximity to each other where everything was just super chill. It was awesome.

One morning on the path we actually ran into a neighbor -- she recognized the dog. We ended up walking with her the whole time and she was the coolest lady ever. She was older, single, with no kids and we immediately connected on the concept of how what you do for a living is the least interesting thing about you. I think I was saying it in the context of us looking for a long-term rental here in the U.K., but that it would have to be a personal connection because we “don’t look good on paper” -- and she was like, “Oh my gosh, I know what you mean -- I don’t either. I never worked more than I needed to and I was always doing all sorts of different things.”

What we do for “work” and how we make money is a topic we very rarely connect with people on, so it was so great to randomly connect with someone about it like that. Also with the no kids thing, and a general love for travel and experiencing other cultures. That is also incredibly fucking rare. I was like - where the fuck did this lady come from? I’m literally in small town Scotland on some random path finding more in common with this woman than anyone I’ve met in Maine this entire year.

She was just such a delight.

We got so lucky with the weather over here too — it literally rained for a total of maybe ten minutes the entire time?? We spent lots of time walking around, eating outside, and people watching along the sea front. I even saw a sexy guy in a kilt.

The cocktail in a can thing is so fun over here -- they have just every different cocktail you can think of, but in a can for two bucks. And they’re good! And of course - cider! The first few nights we either split a cider or a cocktail and sat out in their beautiful garden. But then the midges came out. They’re almost worse than mosquitoes because they come in swarms and you can’t really see them and you can’t feel their bites. Mosquitoes at least bite you typically one at a time, you can hear them, and they’re easier to see. So that was sort of a bummer and that put an end to our morning and evening outdoor time.

Being outside in general if you were walking or moving was fine, it was just sitting still when they would come for you.

I perfected lasagna while we were there, so that was super fun. We also made a really yummy fruit crumble and a couple of bangin’ fish pies. It was fun to cook in that big ass kitchen and just eat our yummy meals in the lounge watching trashy british reality t.v. like Naked Attraction or Come Dine With Me.

Another fun thing is the chips, er--crisps. There are so many fucking flavors, it puts our “sour cream and onion” or “bbq flavor” chips to shame. I posted some pictures on Instagram and had a bunch of people respond passionately with flavors I had to try, so we decided to run with it and we bought a bunch of different flavors at the store and did a tasting video. It was super fun.

Oh, and another fun thing. So the Trusted Housesitters website has a community forum section and often people will post where they are house sitting and see if anyone in the area wants to meet up. I’d had my eye on a Glasgow area meetup post (Helensburgh is about 45 minutes from there) and came to find out that one of the head moderators of the forum actually lives in Helensburgh. How fuckin random is that?? So she ended up orchestrating the entire meetup in Helensburgh as it turned out to be more of a central meeting point for everyone.

In the end there were eight of us -- the mod and her husband, an adorable gay couple, and two single gals. The mod ended up being this super adorable, classic british gal - she was probably in her 70s? And she was effortlessly stylish and just super sharp and awesome. Her husband was adorable too - very cheeky and he was funny at lunch - he had a beer, an appetizer, a main course, dessert, and coffee. He was there to indulge. It was funny like - the place was a little spendy and is not somewhere I would’ve gone. And it reflected in everyone’s orders - everyone just got a sandwich and drank tap water. But in the end - the mod and her husband picked up the check. Which makes sense -- it’s sort of “on” Trusted Housesitters. But it made me realize - when I’m in the position to be picking up the check - I’m going to let everyone know ahead of time. Not to be like boastful, but to be like - hey, get whatever you want, it’s my treat. Because then people will enjoy it more. They’ll order a beverage, they’ll get dessert, and even if they just got a sandwich - it still feels more relaxed and eliminates fretting that they’re “wasting” money on an overpriced lunch eating somewhere they wouldn’t normally go. We’re all travelers using a housesitting website for free accommodation -- obviously we’re all on a budget. If it was up to me we would’ve just met for coffee to be more inclusive of everyone’s budgets. Sometimes a whole ass meal feels like so much pressure.

ANYWAY. Ha. The gay couple was so cute. They’d had an apartment together in a larger city in England and decided to get renters, put all their stuff in storage, and start doing long-term Airbnbs and just traveling around. I had looked up their blog ahead of time and read that and thought dang! That’s crazy - it’s just so similar to our story, they even left on that grand adventure literally the same month that we did in 2020. And we each had various twists and turns along the way and eventually found this house sitting website. They were really fun to connect with.

One of the single gals was super cute - she was also an older gal -- probably also in her 70s and she has traveled alone all over the world house sitting -- from Hong Kong to the U.S. to all over Europe and the U.K. She only does cats too, which I loved. And the other gal we didn’t get to talk to that much - it’s funny, even just 8 people was too large a gathering for my taste. We didn’t really get to chat at length with anyone because the conversations were so fragmented, and were also interrupted by the various stages of the lunch service. I much prefer one on one. Or like I don’t know -- three couples max.

Also dang! I’m also so glad that we aren’t slaves to jobs. We’re not “remote workers”, we’re not at the mercy of a schedule or a boss or a team. I just can’t imagine having to live like that. Doing this travel thing and going to all these places, but 8 hours a day are spent on my job? What does that leave you time to do anyway?

After lunch we all said our goodbyes and then the mod and her husband said they wanted to have us over for lunch since we were still in the area another week or so. That sounded fun! Overall it was just so nice to meet a whole group of like minded people that we had at least this one thing in common with.

The next day we discovered this really awesome cafe that looked like nothing from the outside. It was called Fancy Fillings and it just looked like a little hole in the wall. We almost didn’t go in because it just looked like it could be shit, like just some greasy toasted sandwich or something. But it was the complete opposite. It was a hole in the wall, but it was a counter filled with home made sandwich fillings -- coronation chicken, tuna, chicken tikka, etc. And the most delicious gigantic buns. She also did jacket potatoes and the potatoes themselves were also gigantic and super delicious and she would just absolutely load them the fuck up. And the sammies were $3 and the potatoes were $4.50. So we could go in there and get lunch for less than ten bucks for both of us. She also had things on the menu like $1.50 for a cup of soup and a bun, a buck for a cup of tea, etc. Things that make it so you can go there every day. That’s also a big quality of life thing -- to have things you can do in your community that get you out of the house and allow you to participate in society without costing an arm and a leg. I mean jesus -- even when we would go to Maine Booch to hang out, we’d feel obligated to get a drink, but even a tiny jar of booch was $7 x two. It makes it so your average person can’t do it on the regular.

Also the woman who owned and ran the place was just a delight. She looked like a beach babe -- probably in her 50s, crazy curly hair piled on top of her head, deep sun tan, fun jewelry, and a super delightful accent. She was so friendly and we ended up going in there four or five times, it was just so good.

In fact -- a few days later we met up with one of Kris’ online friends and we took him there for sandwiches. That was actually super fucking fun. His name was James and he is a Real Vision member and he and Kris had been on an RV show together a few months ago, in addition to having loads of interactions in the RV discord. He lived in Glasgow and took the train in to meet us. At the last minute his girlfriend wasn’t able to come and we joked that it was because he had shown her our potato chip tasting video and she had been like, “Yeah, no, you go ahead….” Ha.

Anyway - he was fucking adorable. We met him at the train station and then walked to the sea front and down to Fancy Fillings. He was immediately just so charming and easy to talk to. We both got jacket potatoes with tuna, which I thought was sort of funny. We sat out front and just started eating and talking. And we just got right to it - I asked him how he got into crypto and investing and it was so awesome to hear his story. I shared ours and it was probably one of the only times I could think of where I didn’t have to explain literally anything. He just got it. He’s in the same world, he uses the same language, and he could relate to our lived experience. Not that he had the same experience per se, but we all went through the same market conditions together, so he got it. And dang that was cool.

He’s super sharp too and he’s 29 and already at the point where he doesn’t need a job - because he’s smart and he learned about money and finance all by himself. He doesn’t have a degree, his parents aren’t in finance, none of that. In fact - he went to school for musical theater and his parents were artists who encouraged him to follow his art, but to figure out making money another way. What fucking fantastic advice. Like, seriously. Your passions and how you make money do not have to be the same thing. And how many people actually know what their passions even are? The thing they would do for free. Very few people know what that thing is. And a lot of people don’t want to admit that the thing they are saying is their passion actually isn’t. Because they wouldn’t do it for free, they’re doing it to make money. So James’ goal is to build up his investment portfolio and then be able to just fund his own productions and do whatever he wants, following his creativity.

We’re all technically living off of crypto right now, but living very fucking small because every dollar that we take out is one less dollar that remains in and growing and our priority is the future and growing our investments so we can maintain our freedom. That was a huge thing to connect on as well.

After we were cooked out from the sun outside the sandwich shop, we started walking around and ended up going to a pub. That’s another great thing -- like, we’re done with lunch, it’s hot out, what are we going to do now? Oh yeah, a pub. And that’s another quality of life thing - you can roll into a pub and get a pint for two bucks. And you can sit there as long as you want. So that means you can “go out with a friend” and meet somewhere in town and get a beverage for a couple of bucks. If we went into a bar and ordered drinks for the three of us, it would’ve been $30. So again. Making it so the average person can’t do it that often.

I also love the chain of pubs, Wetherspoons. We don’t have anything like this in the U.S. You can go into any Wetherspoons anywhere and it’s almost like a community center. Plus they’re always the same -- you can get a coffee for a buck with unlimited refills, you can get some cheap food, a cheap pint, a clean bathroom. And you just order at the bar and sit anywhere and hang out there as long as you want and no one would say anything. There’s nowhere in the U.S. you could go and sit at a table and have space and be there for hours without feeling like you had to continue ordering stuff, leave a massive tip, etc. Also the coffee is better than it has any business being - it’s just out of a machine where you push a “latte” button, but for a goddamn dollar? You can’t do much better than that.

It was funny too -- Kris and James were up at the bar getting the drinks and they came back laughing because I guess Kris had lamented that the bar didn’t have Strongbow on tap and James laughed and said that was “monkey piss”. Like it’s the cider we buy and really love, but locally it’s like the ghetto cider. That was pretty funny.

At one point during our pub visit, Kris went to the bathroom and James leaned in and jokingly asked me what was something embarrassing I could tell him about Kris that he could take back to the discord. It was funny because my first thought and what I said was - nothing embarasses Kris. Like he’s just not embarrassed by things. But I said something fun and quirky and weird and that I’m sure he didn’t know was that Kris has shown his penis to rooms full of strangers. That’s always a fun thing to say with no context.

I went on to explain foreskin restoration and the time in his life when he was learning about it, doing it, demonstrating it for people, educating couples on the mechanics of the foreskin and how it totally changes sex if you don’t have one, and educating parents not to cut off their baby’s dick in the first place.

And Kris came back from the bathroom right at the perfect moment, like just as I had finished my sentence so James and I both clammed up and feigned faux-awkward energy and it was so funny. I couldn’t keep it inside so I just blurted out what I had just told him and of course Kris being Kris just launches into this completely dead pan discussion about his penis and doesn’t even miss a beat. It was hilarious.

Then we talked about what we wanted for the future and how the most important thing to all of us was freedom and autonomy and staying out of “the system” in that every waking moment is spent on making money and paying to live. That’s not how we want to spend all day every day, that’s no way to live. That was another really great thing to connect on -- that the point of all this wasn’t to just “be rich”. It is to have freedom and choices, always. It’s to have time to take care of ourselves, to cook delicious food, to spend time with our friends, to pursue our hobbies, and to just live a leisurely, relaxed life.

After a couple of hours in the pub chatting, we walked around a bit more and it was so fun to hear the two of them talk nonstop back and forth about their thoughts about the economy, the market, the state of the world, etc. I wish I could’ve recorded it. It was just so rich and they’re both so smart and engaged.

Later in the week the mod and her husband had us over to their place for lunch and it was just lovely. They lived in a beautiful condo up on a hill overlooking the water and it was just classy as fuck. And of course she had prepared a proper lunch spread for us -- we had sparkling water with mint and lemon, a watermelon & feta salad, cesar salad, and a damn salmon quiche. It was all so delicious. And they have just lived the most interesting lives! They’ve lived in India, Italy, France, Canada, it was fascinating. It made me think about how many stories Kris and I already have, and how many lives we’ve already lived together -- and we’ve barely been together 13 years. Imagine us in another 10 years? 20? 30? Like holy fuck.

I kept thinking to myself how much the daily quality of life was so much better here, and this is what I mean by that:

villages are set up for walking - essentially there’s a central point in the village and all of the commerce is densely packed in the center, nothing is spread out. So everything you need is in one central hub, making it very, very easy to do all of your errands on foot. There are sidewalks and/or walking paths connecting all of the neighborhood streets, so it’s easy to get right from your door into town. There’s no busy roads, no sketchy crossings, nowhere that it’s unsafe to walk.
the butcher scene - this is huge. If there is a separate butcher shop in the U.S. - it’s typically “artisan” and wildly overpriced. It’s not where you can go to get your everyday meat. But here -- the “artisan” stuff in the butcher shop is normally priced. So if you see a beautiful marinated, stuffed chicken breast in the window -- it’s the same price as the the chicken in the grocery store. AND. Since everything in the village is in one central hub, and you’re probably on foot anyway - you don’t even need to go “out of your way” to go to the butcher, or have it mean you are “making an extra stop” in your car.
the fruit and veggie stands -- this is also huge. Super fresh, usually local, well-priced produce. Again for the same price as the grocery store. Makes it easy to “support local” and it’s super enticing to see fresh produce in the window and spilling out onto the sidewalk - it makes you want to buy it and eat it. And these are just normal shop fronts, not like a special weekly farmer’s market or something.
compostable grocery bags -- so the household trash service is divided into three categories -- trash, recycling, and food waste. You are given special compostable food waste bags to line your food waste container with. And when you go to the grocery store, should you forget your bag and need one -- guess what? It’s made from the same compostable material as the food waste container bags, so I bet 99% of people reuse them.
the pub scene like I mentioned -- affordable drinks and food and a warm, inviting place to hang out.
cheap yummy food -- like Fancy Fillings. Where you can get a cup of soup and get out of the house and see people and have a little outing for an insignificant amount of money. It’s like food for an every day price versus a $14 sandwich that is something you do for a special occasion.
clean public gathering spaces -- also in this town there was a very clean and accessible public restroom that also had free pads and tampons. And the town square -- just benches and flowers and nice spots to sit and people utilized it - the town was lively and all sorts of different people of all ages were out and about and hanging out
community resources -- we saw so many signs for free coffee and chat or walking clubs or other community activities aimed at parents with young kids, older people, caretakers, single people, you name it. And we saw so many people taking advantage of those resources.

Those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head. There’s a lot more too it, much more nuance, and things that are just hard to put into words.

So yeah. That was our lovely time in Scotland. We are headed to France for a quick 10-day stop over, and then back to England for the rest of the summer to do a few more house sits.

3 Weeks on the West Coast of Scotland (June 2023)