3 Weeks in London {solo summer travels 2010}

Day 54, July 14th

This morning my Couchsurfing host Loong met me at the train station in his town, Maidenhead. I had flown from Italy and it had taken some hours to get from the London airport into the center of town and then out to the suburbs. It was about 6am, but he was so nice even with meeting me that early and it was another like total instant connection - like hey! I know you!

He lives in a big house with 6 other people - an older polish lady, a married polish couple, and a polish guy and his uncle. I got there and went right to sleep, and Loong went back to sleep for a few hours and then went to work. He came home for lunch just as I was waking up. I got ready and walked with him part of the way back to his work and then he pointed me to the town center. Maidenhead is super cute. And the weather was perfection. It was windy and sprinkled rain a little bit and the air felt so fresh and cool. What a change from the sticky Italian air. I explored all afternoon and then went to the store to get food for the rest of the week.

Loong came home not long after I was back from the store. I started cooking dinner. Apparently Polish people are very possessive so one of the roommates, Adam, showed me all of his kitchen stuff and said I was welcome to use anything of his, but he pointed out everyone else's stuff and said not to use it because they wouldn't like that. Ha. It's so funny how they all live in the same house, but they are so separate. And they have a cleaning schedule and they all just stay in their rooms all the time. I mean it doesn't bother me, but I would so not want to live like that. The house itself is beautiful though and the yard in the back is massive and lush.

Anyway - it felt so good to cook for someone! Loong and I sat down for dinner and he said he felt so taken care of having someone make a nice hot dinner for him. How sweet! What a great day!

Day 55, July 15th

Today I went in to the center of London. I went to the National Gallery to see the dinosaur exhibit and then walked over to Hyde Park and wandered around. Then I went to Notting Hill and walked around. That is one of my favorite neighborhoods. Loads of cute coffee shops and little boutiques and parks. I saw Buckingham Palace and the V&A and I just love London.

When I got home Loong and I hung out in his room. We were each doing stuff on our computers and sharing music and movies and peanut butter M&Ms. Then I Skype’d with a friend and then conversation turned to more serious stuff and I felt bad figuring Loong was totally bored, but he said he was actually quite fascinated. He said it was like being a fly on the wall in a girl's locker room or getting some sort of inside scoop. He said he had never heard girls talk like that and was way intrigued. I'm sure he was.

Day 56, July 16th

Today I went back into London and walked along the Thames. I had brought food with me so I sat and had myself a little picnic. I came across a row of houseboats and started fantasizing about my dream house. I walked around the London Eye and Westminster Abbey and Trafalgar Square. There was a lot going on since it was a Friday night. Everywhere was hopping. People were packed into pubs and spilling out onto the sidewalk with their pints drinking and smoking and laughing.

I like the funny things people say here. Like "pants" is underwear. So if you said you needed your pants altered people would probably look at you funny. They say trousers. I love all the slang too.....wanker, wonky, dodgy. So funny.

Day 57, July 17th

Today Loong and I walked into Maidenhead together to go to the farmer's market. It reminded me of the fish market in Seattle, except it was gruff looking British guys with crooked teeth yelling and singing about the fresh cherries.

We met Loong's friends, Ed and Amanada, for dinner. They were the cutest couple ever. After dinner we walked farther into town and had drinks at this really cute lounge that had super fun cocktails. We nabbed a booth and then this random drunk guy came over and asked if someone could text his girlfriend. He was out of credit on his own cell phone and was too drunk to drive home and needed her to come pick him up. He was hilarious.

Day 58, July 18th

Today I met up with guy named Brenden who I matched with on OkCupid. He is Canadian and tall and blonde and we walked over to Leicester Square and went into a pub for drinks. We had a great time and ended up walking all over the city talking for the rest of the day. We walked all thru Hyde Park and St. James Park and then stopped somewhere random for dinner.

After dinner we walked some more. He asked about the trip and why I was over here. I told him. I am totally owning this married thing. You know what? I was married. And I technically still am until I get my passport. And there's fuck all I can do about it so just get over it, ok? Well alright then. Not that I had to say that to him because he had a very nice reaction to it. But I think it's me too. If I say it like it's no big deal then it doesn't feel like a big deal. It's all about projection, right? And I appreciated that he didn't have the "Oh you're only 25 and you're divorced" reaction. He just said it was sorry that it hadn't worked out and that he thought it was great that I took this trip by myself.

Eventually we started just like making out randomly on the walk and that was super fun. Also he’s a hand holder, which was really cute. He walked me to the train and then when I got home I had the most random message from a friend in Arizona who just had a baby, but was in the hospital and wanted to know if I knew of anyone who would donate milk for her baby!

Then Loong and I skyped with my little sister and he thought she was hilarious. I was saying something about her hands, how they looked like crap or something and she yelled "Hey asian! Don't I have the most beautiful hands ever?" I about died laughing.

Day 59, July 19th

So today was super random. I started out in Camden and finally bought a map. Then I wandered thru the insanely beautiful Regent's Park. After the park I started listening to this walking tour podcast thingie I had downloaded. The walk started in Soho so I followed Regent's Street down to where the walk started.

On my way I went into the cutest ice cream shop ever. It caught my eye because it was all different shades of purple with splashes of silver and diamond accents. It was like having ice cream in a princesses bedroom. And the ice cream was the shit. I had a big bowl of mint chocolate chip. Then I passed the godiva store and got a bunch of chocolate. Then I made it to Soho and followed the little walk. It was great! It led me to this cute little square - Golden Square. And then I kept walking down towards Piccadilly Circle. I was in that area and I saw this funky little salon across the street. I just had to go in and get my hair cut. So I did. It was nothing major, but I haven't paid to get my hair cut since I got married. So it was super fun!

Day 60, July 20th

Today was super lazy. I sat in Loong’s garden all afternoon with my laptop. Then I met Brenden in Camden and he took me over to the Camden Lock. Super cute and lots of funky people hanging out. Then he took me to this burger place....I forget the name of it, but it had a similar feel to Fez or Delux. I had a chocolate milk shake and the most delicious lamb burger ever. It came with three dipping sauces!

After dinner we decided that, if the times worked out, we'd see Inception since it is all anyone can talk about. They charge more for seats in the middle here. Weird....The times did work out and we did see it and it was awesome. Afterwards we walked more around the Lock and I “missed” the last train home so I spent the night at his place. It was nice to sleep in a real bed in a real bedroom since at Loong’s I’m sleeping on an air mattress in the porch room. Ha.

Day 61, July 21st

This morning I found out that Brendan is a biter, a Canadian vampire if you will. He just likes to bite. It was hot in the moment, but a few hours later I was like.....fuck. Ouch! After the mediocre (for me anyway....) morning rendezvous he had to go to work, but encouraged me to stay and sleep and raid his kitchen. Done! I did go back to sleep and didn't wake up until 3 o clock that afternoon. What can I say? His bed is like floating on air. And I did raid the fridge. In fact I didn't feel like doing a damn thing that whole day. I hung out in his cushy apartment for the next several hours. This traveling thing is really getting to me. It's like I expand...I do all this cool stuff and meet all these cool people, but then I contract and live like a hermit for a little while.

Eventually I did go home. He had explained how to get to the tube station, but I totally didn't remember. I thought about asking someone, but figured if I wandered around for long enough I was bound to run into something and of course I did.

Day 62, July 22nd

Today I wanted to get up at a good time so I could make it into the city and actually go to the museums before they closed. And I did. First I went to the Science Museum. Way cool. The poop exhibit is still there. They talk all about poo and how maybe the future is to use poo as energy. It's hilar.

Then I went to Tate Modern. They had a great exhibit about postpartum with photos of women one hour, one day and one week after birth - it was beautiful and the point of the display was to show the raw vulnerability surrounding the transition into motherhood. Then they had this other exhibition that was called Exposed: Voyeurism, Surveillance and the Camera. I didn't go in because it cost money and I am way too cheap, but on the wall outside was this floor to ceiling display with bullet points and dates of significant advances as far as cameras and photography in general. Totally fascinating. You know what's a weird thought? Youtube has only been around since 2005. Just 5 years ago there was no youtube. How weird is that? And google earth....that was just 3 years ago. CRAZY.

I spent the rest of the day in front of the museum. It is right on the water and they have this beautiful grassy area in front that everyone laying around in. So I joined.

Day 63, July 23rd

Ok, so today I sat in the porch room on my bed at Loong’s again all day watching Grey's Anatomy and eating rice pudding. I just did not feel like doing anything that involved leaving the house. Being on a trip like this - everyone tells me all the time how lucky I am or how much they wish they could do something like this and it puts a strange pressure to do something awesome every day. And I almost feel guilty if I don't....like I am wasting this opportunity that I have and others don't. But you know…I've been traveling for two months by myself and some days I’m just lazy. I wasn't in the mood to meet anyone new or see another museum or another church or whatever. So I didn't.

Later on that evening I was chatting with my friend, Leita, and she was like - “Oh! I have a kundalini yoga friend in London. I should connect you guys!” So she did. I chatted him up right away and we made plans to meet tomorrow morning. But then he friended me on facebook later in the evening and just messaged asked if I wanted to come over now. I figured, what the hell, and I headed to his neighborhood.

He met me at the station and was super nice. I totally poured my heart out to him and he really heard me. What an amazing thing to be HEARD. And then he said something about how no one ever means for things to build up. You just figure time will heal and soon it will be a distant memory and you can move on. You never think it's gonna keep building to the point of explosion. Until it does - it was so simple, but I had never thought of that before. I felt like a weight had been lifted.

We got back to his little apartment and it was like walking into a mini version of the ashram where Yoga Phoenix is. So awesome! Prayer beads and incense and candles and soft chanting music and furry rugs and tea. It was so awesome. Energetically it was so uplifting to be in a space like that. We sat and talked lots more and then he did some reiki and some massage and we laid down together and feel asleep. But then he kept trying to dry hump me and I mean I guess whatever. But it just felt like that’s all he was really after. Kind of a let down. Nothing happened, but it was just sort of like, oh, okay. I thought you like actually gave a shit and maybe he did, but not without also wanting to get down. Why does it always have to mean that?

Day 64, July 24th

At least creepy perv made me some super tasty fresh juice this morning. It was apples, celery, ginger and a bunch of other stuff I don't remember. It was super spicy and I loved it. Then I got the heck outta there and went into London and walked around Kensington for a while. Then I went into Whole Foods and got a bunch of delicious food and opened up my laptop and ended up hanging out there all day, it was just so cozy.

Day 65, July 25th

Today I met Brendan and we did the south bank walk, which starts around the London Eye and then goes all the way down to Tower Bridge.

There were tons of people out and so much life and energy. Then we had dinner at this Greek place and it was the best Greek food I ever had in my life. It was so cute too - right on the water with awesome views. And we got this sort of sampler platter for two that came out on 3 tiered stands like afternoon tea.

Day 66, July 26th

So today was like the best day ever. I was reading the PowerPath update for today and it said:

July 26: A very important day astrologically as the Saturn/Uranus opposition that has been with us off and on since the election of Obama is changing signs and going into Aries/Libra. As I am not an astrologer, I can only speak to the energy of the times and to see this configuration as increasing the heat and charging the intensity, bringing things to a head and crisis point. This is the "what is coming". It is now here in all its intensity, crisis and opportunity. This configuration and energetic influence will trigger numerous large-scale movements on the planet that will affect everyone. No one escapes.

And boy, what a day I had. I woke up feeling great. I just felt very content, I don't know how to explain it. Then I just felt this huge wave like totally wash over me. It was like something had entered my body and I was just forced to sit still and observe. And afterwards I felt light as a feather, but then felt this incredible build up of energy, like I needed to run around the block or I was going to explode. Then randomly the creepy yoga dude messaged me on Facebook and gave me a meditation to do: for 20 minutes breathe deeply in and out through your mouth. Chant wahe on the inhale and guru on the exhale. It sounded so perfectly simple. He invited me over, but I declined, ew. I really just wanted to be with myself, but it was intense - I had to get outside, I had to connect with the earth and do this meditation. I went to the park in the middle of town.

I found a sort of out of the way spot that was totally shaded and I was in this little nook with all of these trees and I sat cross legged and I set the timer on my cell phone for 20 minutes. I was breathing in and out thru my mouth, silently chanting and then I started to feel this crazy vibration - like someone took a super powerful vibrating dildo and put it against my skin. It took over my hands and I couldn’t move them - like they become paralyzed and sort of curled up and the vibrating washed over my whole body, It was super intense.

Then my timer went off - the 20 minutes were up. Earlier in the week I was sharing with Terra my feelings of guilt over a bunch of things that happened last year. She gave me a visualization to do, and I thought of it in that moment and did it right then. I took my hands and I put them over my heart and I start saying out loud over and over again "I forgive myself I forgive myself I forgive myself". Then the tears start, but they're like happy tears. I'm so overwhelmed with this release and it was so powerful to hold my heart and say those words out loud.

Now this part I considered not sharing because it is so intensely personal, but I feel it is a very important part of the whole experience. I put my hands on my stomach and I start talking to the spirit of the baby that came to me back in September (I had my abortion in early October). And I said that I was really sorry - I really appreciated its presence, but I just wasn't ready to bring it earth side. It was bad timing and I couldn't have given it everything it needed and deserved, but I know that I will hold this little spirit in my heart and someday soon I will be ready to grow it inside of me and I am so excited to do that. I mean it was nuts, I couldn't believe the stuff I was saying.

THEN I take my hands and I keep my palms up and I start telling all my friends how much I love them and what I wish for them, individually.

And then I just sat there against this tree and I said out loud "I am so grateful I am so grateful I am so grateful" over and over again. And then I just kept sitting there, just sort of marveling at what I had just experienced.

So yeah, it was a pretty freakin awesome day.

And here's the forecast for the next few days:

July 27-31: Keep "don't know mind" especially about anything that is confusing to you and that you do not have clarity about. Clarity will come with time. Do whatever you can to acknowledge the increase in levels of consciousness available now. Always notice what is different as it is the marker for change. Contemplate on the new opportunities in your life that are springing from the ashes of the old patterns. Appreciate your relationships, and the support and love in your life.

Day 68, July 28th

Today was like the best day ever. I met the two cutest doulas ever - Allie and Jessica. We went to lunch and it was totally fascinating to hear the differences in birthing here compared to the states.

Afterwards I wandered over to Regent's Park and sat by the big lake. I rested against a tree and listened to my headphones and it was just the most beautiful day.

I met up with Brenden later that afternoon and we went to a random pub near Regent's Park. They had picnic tables outside and this lady walked by with the most beautiful golden retriever. I said "Aw, look - that dog looks just like Comet from Full House."

The bartender came out and was clearing our plates.

Brenden said "Yeah, but that was a Labrador." (referring to the dog that had just walked by)

I said, "Uh, no. That was a golden retriever."

And the bartender said the exact same thing as me at the exact same moment. It was HILARIOUS.

We moved inside because it was getting cold out. I had been eyeing this pretty cake on a cake stand up at the bar so I decided to go over for a closer look. The bartender that I shared the golden retriever moment with came over and said "Is there anything I can get you?" and this other guy at the bar chimed in and said, "Nope, she doesn't want anything. She just came up to the bar for no reason at all. Bloody hell, Mark! What kind of fucking question is that!? Of course she wants something! Christ!" It was like the funniest thing ever.

I got a piece of the cake and it was super rich and I needed some milk. I asked for milk and after I drank it I exclaimed how good it was. The guy at the bar was like, "What? They don't have bloody fucking milk in America?"

Day 69-75

I’m just going to lump these together as it was a lot of the same stuff. First of all - Loong started getting weird and jealous of me spending so many nights not at home - Like I was staying the night at Brenden’s or at the yoga dudes house the one night or whatever. Like - what the hell did he care? But he got so dumb and jealous about it and asked me to “check out”. It was so lame. I had to get a hotel because it was all so random and last minute. I started planning my return to Italy at that point and otherwise I just hung out with Brenden or was just puttering around London.