Weiner-Dog, White Russian's, and Waterfalls {Newcastle-Upon-Tyne}

Kris' Birthday! August 15th

Last night at the last minute I realized I never made Kris a birthday card like Elizabeth and I had talked about. Clair had already gone to bed, so I just rummaged thru her kitchen drawers to see if I could find anything. I came across paper and glitter but no glue. Then found some superglue and shut myself in the bathroom to get to work. The perfect fine tip super glue nozzle was totally clogged so I had to pry the whole lid off and dip a q-tip in it to write anything. This turned out to be incredibly sloppy and terrible and my nostrils started burning. I messaged Elizabeth about my failure and she she said she'd save it with her fine ass hand writing in the morning. 

Okay, great. 

So this morning while Kris was pooping, she did indeed save the card, and then we presented it to him. I think he was pretty delighted. 

We got on making the described breakfast and sat on Clair's patio to enjoy. 

Later in the morning we headed into town and had an amazing coffee experience at this little stand inside of a market. It was called Pumphrey's and we sat at the counter talking to the cute barista with a full red beard. 

After coffee we walked over to Leaz Park and threw the frisbee for a while before headed to Bunkers for lunch. Kris decided the sandwiches weren't it for him in that moment and, being that it was his birthday, Elizabeth and I followed him wherever he wanted to go. We tried a place called Quay Kitchen, but they were closed. Third on our list was a pizza place called The Herb Garden and that ended up being really nice. Elizabeth and I split a gorgonzola/walnut/broccoli pizza and Kris put back a whole one all by himself. His was full of meat and mushrooms. 

There was a movie starting shortly after so we walked over to this cute art house-y theater called Tyneside Cinema. The movie was Weiner Dog and it was really fucking weird. I liked it but I didn't like it. It's a strange dark comedy. 

On the ground floor of the theater is a swanky little cafe and this super pretty bartender made me a white russian, and poured Kris a glass of prosecco. We hung out there until it was time to meet Clair and her boyfriend, Eddie, for dinner. 

We ended up eating at this really funny buffet that had every different kind of food you could think of. It was sort of funny and made me feel like I was in Vegas. Eddie drove us all home in his car so that was a treat. We all went insdie and hung out for a bit before heading up to bed. 

August 16th

Today we made a repeat of yesterday's super fab breakfast: eggs, bacon, kale, strawberries, toast and tea. It was sunny out so we decided to head to the beach afterwards. The metro goes right to the coast and it only took about 20 minutes, though it was literally the worst fucking ride of our entire lives. 

It was packed with loud ass babies and kids and strollers and stinky people and it was so crammed full and disgusting. Fucking everyone and their brother had the same idea to go to the beach on this sunny day. 

Once we got there we walked over to a coffee shop and sat outside overlooking the water with our coffee. Eventually we went closer to the water and lounged on this really pretty grassy spot for a long time. The weather was perfect and the grass was so soft and lush. 

Kris found somewhere nice for lunch so an hour or so later we walked over there. It was called Dill and the Bear and it was fucking darling. We sat out front and I had another fantastic smoothie, Kris had a cuban sandwich, and Elizabeth had the worse tomato soup ever. 

We walked down to the actual beach afterwards but the water was like a goddamn ice bath so we just sat on the sand and people watched.  A while later we headed back into town, got food at M&S and went back to Leaz park to eat. 

It was there that we had the biggest laugh of the trip so far. Kris was eating this salad with tiny little shrimp in itand I said they looked like baby dicks. Without missing a beat, and with a totally straight face he said, "Yeah? Well your salad looks like a pig's asshole". And I wasn't even eating a salad. And what does a pig's asshole even look like? It was so funny. 

Elizabeth and I have had an aversion to showering and she said - what if we shower in the morning? And I said at that rate, we might as well just shower the next day when we check into our hotels at the lake district. For some reason that had us rolling too. 

We headed back to Clair's because it was cold af, and we ended up getting her hooked on the show "All or Nothing" - the reality show about the Cardinals. 

August 17th

After breakfast, we headed into town to have coffee at this place called Garden Cafe. It was inside a shopping mall, but was super cute. Kris found somewhere to walk to for lunch, but they ended up being closed so we went to a place Elizabeth found and it was awesome - Bealim House. I had huevos rancheros, Kris had their full English, and Elizabeth had the best mushroom soup of all time. To top it off, we shared their sticky toffee pudding and it was ridick. 

We then took the metro to this park called Jesmond Dean - it was so great and looked a lot like Sedona. There was a creek running through it and several spots with waterfalls, a small petting zoo, and it was just super dense and lush. 

Tea Sutra was our next stop and we took our shoes off and sat in the corner with big floor pillows and tiny tables. We all had beautiful pots of tea and shared a piece of raw cheesecake. 

Then we hit M&S for dinner food and snacks for the train tomorrow before heading back home to Clair's. 

Tomorrow we head to Lake District National Park for a long weekend and fly from there to Berlin on Sunday.