Our Last Night in Perugia

Ah, yes. Our last night in Perugia. Bittersweet, but welcomed. 

Would I come back to Perugia to visit for a couple of days? Fuck yes. Would I recommend visiting? Absolutely! Would I come back here for any extended period of time? Hell to the no. 

There is not much to report here these last couple of weeks, so I thought I’d go out with a bang by sharing the colorful street characters we encounter every day (inspired by my boyfriend)

Santa in the Red Sweat Pants

Seriously. This guy. He looks like Santa Clause. Every day he wears sweat pants (usually red) and a weird old t-shirt and baseball cap. He walks up and down the streets pausing at various spots to play the same three songs over and fucking over again. Initially I almost gave him money because I thought, who the fuck am I? He’s the one with the balls to get out and play music in public every day. But then, quickly, he just got very annoying. If his songs were better, or his voice wasn’t so grading, then maybe he’d have something going for him. And he’s one of those that plays and then goes up to every single table asking for money, making it just plain awkward. 

The Guys with the Roses

These fucking guys. They have a bouquet of roses and they come up to me while I’m eating dinner every night and shove the roses in my face. Like in my fucking face. I politely say, “No, grazie” and they persist. Now I’ve taken to placing my hand up and practically yelling, “NO!!!” and they promptly go away. 

The Hot Juggling Girls

These girls were a really fucking treat. They just oozed delight and joy. They had on cute little outfits and hats, set up their own boom box playing 20s-era music, and juggled like mother fuckers. We gave them lots of money. 

The Spiderman Soccer Ball Guy

This guy wears a legit Spiderman costume. Like it’s the one Tobey Maguire wore in the movie. It’s not some costum store bull shit. He crouches on the ground like fucking Spiderman and does these crazy tricks with a soccer ball. 

The Tai Chi Guy

This guy is a fucking tool. He sets up a boom box playing some weird ass new agey crap instrumental music and proceeds to just do Tai Chi right in the middle of a main thoroughfare. And he has a container out for money. For what? Are you kidding me?

The White Faced Fucktards

This is the weirdest shit. They paint their faces and hands white. They wrap their heads. They were shiny, iridescent white robes. And they just walk up to you asking for money. What the fuck?

The Dreadlocks Accordion Player

This guy is so great. He plays the fuck out of an accordion and it is just the most beautiful mood making music ever. And he’s so into it. He just has a red felt lined treasure chest sitting a few feet in front of him that people drop loads of money in, us included. 

The Clip Board Geeks

These guys harass you while holding a clip board and tell you that your signature will help kids get off drugs. Yeah, right. I think they just distract you with the whole kids on drugs shit so that they can pickpocket you or steal your identity or something. Fuck the kids. 

The Kneeling Lady

This lady, I just don’t even know. She kneels on a pillow holding some weird sign in front of her face. I just don’t know how she can sit like that for any extended period of time. Blows my frickin. 

Tomorrow, we head to Budapest, which is already shaping up to be a much more comfortable situation with regards to our living situation so I am very fucking excited about that. 

I wonder what street performers we’ll encounter there. 

Plus, it’s full of mineral bath houses, yoni massage parlors, and I’m going to get my cavity fixed for hella cheap. 

Here is us, on our last night in Perugia — we realized we didn’t have any pictures of us together!

Perugia, Italy