On the Naked Farm in Tuscany {Days 15-18}

Days 15-18 Sunday-Wednesday September 22-25 Tuscany

Sunday was a total leisure day. We had the farm totally to ourselves the whole day so it was a mix of eating, yoga on the deck, napping, reading and lounging.

Tuscany 2013

At one point we were cuddling and I said, "Oh! You're pressing on my poop bag....er....my....large intestine.....wherever my poop's waitin." Kris said, "Your rectum." I pooped and then several minutes later he said, "I meant your anus." and I said, "Isn't that the same thing?" and he said,

"The rectum is the butt hole. The anus is the cavity just beyond."

In the evening everyone came back and we had dinner together - Paolo, Alexandra and the Russians - Olga, and her grown son, Richard. Olga and Richard were hilarious going back and forth like an old married couple, and Olga has the most fantastic accent. She speaks fluent English, but with a classic thick Russian accent. We ate dinner inside at the kitchen table and it was a simply, but delicious soup with greens and orzo and we passed around the bowl of cheese and carved of the leg of proscuitto and it was just the best.

There we all were - two Americans, a Romanian, an Italian and two Russians. I wish for all of my friends to travel (outside of the U.S.A.) There is nothing in the world that can compare the experiences you will have.

Monday was our first official work-trade day. We were up early and put out in the olive grove to trim the trees in preparation for the harvest next month. That was a bitch. I said, "Didn't the dove bring an olive branch back to noah's arc and that's how they knew shit was cool? Like, the bird had obviously found dry land or something?"

Tuscany 2013

4 and a half hours of trimming kicked our fucking asses. We ate lunch and then passed out, resurfacing to watch the sunset with the geese and eat dinner.

At dinner - I saw a cat pee. We saw this stream coming from way up high in a tree and we followed it and it lead us right to a cat's ass. Hilarious.

Tuesday we totally lucked out. We finished with the trees in an hour or so, and then we had just had to fill buckets with water and carry them to the cherry trees. We were done by 11 and that was our day. Alexandra made a fantastic bean soup for lunch and then we had a really fun siesta. We both had head colds, but also had the giggles. So it made for a really hilarious couple of hours in our room.

Alexandra told us some great stories about strange guests that have stayed here. She said one fancy looking couple complained about "the sheet (shit) of the geese" and another woman was screaming in her room - Alexandra heard her all the way in the main house. She went to see what was wrong and "the woman had her feet on the bed and was screaming. Her husband has a broom and is trying to smash a lizard." Later on Alexandra told us "If you ever come back to Italy - you stay with me in the house of Guiliano (her boyfriend)" She is so sweet.

I wondered out loud - "I can't remember if I pooped out my garlic...."

That night for dinner Paolo bought two whole fresh fish and a load of fresh mussels. We had the seafood, along with boiled potatoes doused with olive oil and parsley, and cabbage salad.

Wednesday we lucked out even harder. We got up early, prepared to work, and then the phone rang. It was Paolo. He had left early that morning, but was calling to say he missed his train so Alexandra had to drive him to Rome (3 hours away). He just asked us to feed the dogs and cats and keep an eye on the puppies. Look at this fucking cat food label. I guess there’s no Italian word for cat? And “buon” means good. So it’s food for good cats. Or good cat food. Either way:

Tuscany 2013

So we had another totally leisurely day to ourselves. On a naked farm in Tuscany hanging out with puppies. Like. What?

Look at this puppy asleep in my lap!!

Tuscany 2013

Kris was posting something on Facebook about how stupid hash tagging is and I said, "You should post that with an ironic hash tag." He looked me square in the face, dead serious and said, "I'm never gonna hash tag."

Tuscany 2013