Lunch at The Old Stamp House {a glorious tasting menu}

This is, like, a mega food porn alert. It was an absolutely sensual lunch that was more like a performance than just a meal. 

It started with the adorable waiter man greeting us at the front door, "Are you my reservation for three?" 

We sat down at our glorious table and the ambiance was very cave-like. It was dark, there was lots of small lamps and low light, fresh flowers, etc.  

The first thing to come out was

"Black Pudding Bon Bons" - little balls of black pudding, breaded and delicately fried. 

Next came

"Beetroot Merengue with Horseradish Cream" - little pink meringues made from beet juice and the most delicate spicy cream in the middle + "Cuttlebut with Horseradish & Caviar" - a crispy shell wrapped around "cuttlebut", which was sort of tuna-ish, and a little pearl of caviar on top. 

There there was

"Irish Soda Bread + Rye Loafs"

that came out with

"Brown Shrimps" - a bowl with califlower purée topped with mead soaked raisins, almonds, curry and mead veloute, and tiny baby shrimp. 

Then came the most perfectly constructed bite

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"Whitehaven Lobster" - a pool of courgette and basil purée topped with lobster, scorched cherry tomatoes, bronze fennel, apple, and a light, delicate puffy chip.   

********

Me: Let's have nachos for dinner! 

Her: Which nachos? Where? 

Me: They can be any nachos. How bad can they. Be? 

Her: NO. This morning we had delicious fruit, amazing sandwiches, and now this six course shit for lunch. We will NOT be having bad nachos for dinner.  

********

Then came

"Yew Tree Herdwick Hogget" - three different cuts of beef, girrolle mushrooms, carrot purée, and confit potatoes. Here were our different reactions to this particular course:

Kris: I love this one. It's like that beef cheek I had in Budapest. 

Me: What even is this? It's like God's cock.  

Her: Is this pork? 

*******

First dessert course

"English Raspeberries" - this one was hard to photograph well. It was a sprinkling of crunchy goodness topped with apricot purée, almonds, raspberry sorbet, fresh raspberries, and whipped meadowsweet custard.

She then observed, "Ugh. Her purse is so ugly. I can't stop looking at it. Every time I see it I mistake it for a dog." 

And she wondered, "Why is it raining so hard?" To which I replied,  "It's God's piss."  

******!

And the final course

"Fllokburgh Cockler and Chocolate Cake" - a rich chocolate cake that tasted heavily of beer, New season cherries served in fresh form, sorbet, and curd + a crisp of caramelized chocolate on top. 

This place was worth going out of your way for. 

From the Windermere train station, take the city bus to Ambleside, stay at The Apple Pie Inn, do this tasting menu at The Old Stamp House and bask in the glory of the Lake District.