A weekend in Vernazza, Cinque Terre {Days 19 & 20}

Day 19 Thursday, September 26 Tuscany & Vernazza

This morning Kris said, "It sucks I'm on a night time poop schedule." I said, "I'm mostly in the morning, but later morning, so kinda back to normal. But it's no poop alarm clock, that's for sure."

Alexandra drove us to catch our bus to Grosetto. We had a very sweet goodbye.

We stumbled into a fucking fantastic place in Grosetto where we had two perfect lattes, two croissants and two sandwiches - one was a croissant with salami and cheese, the other was focaccia bread with cream cheese, arugala and prosciutto. Both were fucking to die for. We hit the grocery store for train snacks and then set off for Vernazza — one of the five towns that make up Italy’s Cinque Terra National Park, which is nestled on the side of a mountain on the coast. These were taken from the train — mountains on one side and the sea on the other:

After a two hour ride we got off and were in the fucking land of retard tourists. It was literally an elbow to elbow sea of retards getting off the train. For a second I was like....ohmygod - am I in Honolulu again? Is this going to be so not worth it? Seriously. Look at this sea of assholes:

Vernazza 2013

But, thank fuck, it totally was. Vernazza's amazingness way makes up for the load of idiots that are constantly roaming the streets.

Our hotel was super adorable - the Pensione Sorriso. Bed was super comfy and the shared bathroom was totally cute and clean and we never had to wait. Plus, we had a sink in our room so we both mostly peed in the sink, reserving the community bathroom for pooping and showers.

Look at view from our room - that’s a little outdoor shower on the deck!

We immediately set out for gelato, which was easy to find as there is basically only one main street to the town and it’s pedestrian only. There were 3 gelato spots in town and we tried them all that afternoon and then just lounged by the water.

Vernazza 2013

We hiked up one of the hills and had dinner on a cliff side over looking the water. Our waiter was so fucking hot. He put his hand on my shoulder. My left shoulder. He squeezed it. Look how tickled I am:

Vernazza 2013

Kris pooped after we got home and I asked him, "Did you wash your ass in that awesome bidet?" Kris: Well of course I did! Why would I waste an opportunity with a brilliant ass washing machine?

The mext morning we were up early, which was nice because we got to have breakfast in peace before the hordes of tourists came in on the train.

Vernazza is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen in my entire life. I am so glad we came here.

Vernazza 2013

The day was really just eating, coffee, gelato, siesta, pizza, more gelato, pizza, croissants, more gelato, a little more pizza, you get the idea.

We did a lot of awesome people watching, too. Making comments like:

Kris: Look at those gay guys with that chihuahua.
Katie: They look so rough are you stew they're gay?
Kris: They're rolling with a fucking chihuahua. C'mon.

Kris: That girl was kinda hot.
Katie: Her friend was frumperific.
Kris: She had a cute face though.
Katie: I didn't see her face. Just her high waist line.

Katie: Look at that gut chewing on his hoodie strings. He looks like a fucking crack head.

Katie: Are you tired of me? Do you wanna ditch me?
Kris: Why do you confound me with your retarded thoughts?

Kris: Wanna go?
Katie: No, I'm not quite ready yet.
(several minutes later) Kris: I would just like you to be aware that I'm incredibly fucking thirsty.

Katie: C'mere, kitty. Look over here! Do you think this cat's gonna look at me?
Kris: No. It's not. It's a cat. It's gonna do whatever the fuck it wants.

At one point we hiked a little ways up one of the trails so we could take some pictures:

Vernazza 2013

All five towns are connected by hiking trails so it’s a popular spot for backpackers. We weren’t that ambitious, but we hiked up pretty far. People’s houses are just scattered along the way so it’s funny as you’re hiking further and further you end up looking down into the town, but also into people’s backyards:

We also hiked up to the top of this castle, which had even more spectacular views.

And walked through a little cave to get another part of the beach, which was covered with the most beautiful rocks.

Vernazza 2013

When we were up in our room later I asked Kris, "So, what's there to do in Milan tomorrow?" He said, "Well - you can reserve a 15 minute spot to see The Last Supper. That's painted by Leonardo Da Vinci." Katie, "Yeah, I know who fucking painted The Last Supper." Kris, "Well I don't know! Sometimes you don't know shit!"