Writing Group, Day 8: Tell Me All Your Thoughts on God

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{Note: this is my 100% totally raw 10 minute free write that I copied into a blog post to document for all of time, and of course share with you. Please expect typos and misspellings.}

Today's prompt was: Tell Me All Your Thoughts on God

I totally don't remember the first time I prayed. My dad's parents are Lutheran and my mom's mom was Christian, but funnily enough I never really got into religion. I went to church a hand full of times growing up - it was this sort of sweet non-denominational church called Unity. Usually we'd go on Easter or Christmas Eve or something like that. As I got older and became more aware of what a huge deal religion is for most people I thought about it more, but none of it really spoke to me. Especially after learning more about the origins of some of them.

Then I discovered Kundalini yoga.

Well, actually - I was pestered to go. I went to a weekend workshop and one of the girls there was telling me about a yoga studio that I just had to try. She was super nice and we kept in touch and once a month or so she would invite me to come to yoga. Finally, about 6 months later, I did. The class was so much fun and it was the first time in my life something had really spoken to me on "that" level. I signed up for a pass on the spot and started going a few times a week.

There was one teacher in particular who was just the coolest dude. He had a fabulous mustache and at the beginning of each class he'd always open with a monologue that never failed to make me wish I had brought a recorder. He has a great sense of humor and an energy that radiates from him that just makes you want to relax, smoke some weed and stay up all night telling stories. Anyway - through kundalini I started meditating, learning about the chakras, and really connecting my mind and my body for the first time. That awareness seeped into every part of my life. It was the catalyst to me going through my house and getting rid of every single toxic chemical anything - dish soap, air freshners, shampoo, lotion, nail polish. All of that crap. Same with food. I was conscious of what I was putting in and on my body for the first time in my whole life and it was so inspiring. Same with relationships - friendships, family, intimate connections - it all had to get real. 

I don't believe in God in the traditional sense. I am way more into me and the energy I radiate. What makes sense to me is that we're all energy all the time. And we all vibrate at different frequencies and those frequencies attract similar frequencies. So it makes sense that if I'm gossiping or being negative or feeling sorry for myself that I'm radiating at a lower frequency than if I was complimenting someone, noticing the newly sprouted flowers in the neighbors yard, meditating, or getting lost in a bowl of orgasmic fettucini alfredo. This is also slowly been proven to me over the years and it pretty much never fails. That's what great about life and getting older - you learn so much in hindsight. 

Like - how interesting is it to meet someone and never know how they're going to end up impacting your life. Take my best friend, Danielle. 6 years ago I decided to go to a doula meeting that's held monthly. I wasn't really into the monthly meeting but I almost always went to the December one because it was a Christmas cookie potluck and I can't fucking get enough of Christmas. And Danielle had also been procrastinating going to a meeting, but for whatever reason decided to go to that one. I noticed her because she was the only other doula without kids, and also because she was giving away gift certificates for a BodyTalk session with her. If it's free, it's for me. A few weeks later I scheduled my session and it was LIFE CHANGING. Like, seriously. And a few months after that Danielle and I found ourselves naked and floating in a hot spring pool together saying, "Would you ever have guessed a few months ago at the doula meeting that we'd be frolicking naked together in the woods a few months later?" Funny, huh?

Or even that gal pestering me to go to yoga. She stayed an acquaintance on the peripheral for some years and then all of the sudden, out of fucking nowhere, she messaged me wanting to meet me and my boyfriend for coffee to pick our brains about polyamory. She had recently overhauled her life and was exploring her sexuality. It turned out to be the greatest coffee date ever and she's become one of our dearest friends. Also - she's super into being tied up and Kris (my boyfriend) is super duper into Japanese rope tying. I am so totally not. So she'll just come over, he'll tie her up, and I'm totally off the hook. It's kind of a sweet connection they have, and it's totally not sexual. So now it's like - isn't this funny?? We were in a workshop together 10 years ago, barely spoke, loosely kept in touch, and then her you are in my living room being tied up by my boyfriend. 

Even fucking Jena. I love Mani and got to know her through the birth community in Phoenix. I even remember meeting her then-husband. Years later, Mani moved to a cute tiny house downtown literally across the street from me. I knew she was seeing a woman who lived across the country and I knew they loved each other a lot. One morning, super duper early, I gave Mani a ride to the airport and I was so sad that she only got to go and be with Jena for a few days. One time I went over to her house for something - to borrow a book? I don't know. And there was Jena. The Jena I had heard about, the Jena Mani was always flying to visit. Some time after that I went to Europe for the summer and when I came back Mani's cute tiny house was empty, and she had moved across the country and they were together, finally. And here I am - years later, transforming through free writing in Jena's writing group. 

Funny how life works out, isn't it?

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Do I really have to keep telling you to do one of Jena's writing groups? She has one that starts TOMORROW. You could totally get in on it. And then you can thank me later. 

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