The Day I Pooped at the Float Spa
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The Trash Can Dump Story:
I had recently moved into an amazing house where I had two hot male roommates. A couple of weeks after I moved in I went out on a Saturday night, drank way too much, ate crap fast food, and woke up at 6 0′clock Sunday morning almost pooping the bed. I ran to the bathroom and one of the hot roommates had the whole bathroom torn up and was retiling the shower. Fuckcrapmotherfuck. Obviously he would’ve happily vacated for me to poop, but there was just no way I could do that. Because I knew it was going to be a dagnasty poop and it’s not like the smell would instantly dissipate. And then the hot guy would know I pooped. So just, no. I went back to my room and came to the only logical conclusion: poop in my tiny trash can and go back to sleep. I woke up a few hours later and now had to dispose of this mess. I bagged it up, made a run out the front door to my car, tore up to Safeway and chucked it in the big dumpster out back.
The Cascading Shit Story
This story starts with me on my back with my legs over my head so that my ass was hanging over the edge of the arm of the couch. My hot boyfriend and I began having some righteous ass sex. At one point he pulled his penis out to change positions and a stream of poo started cascading out of my ass and down the side of the couch into a puddle on the beige carpet.
I did not know this was happening. I had my legs over my head and was staring at the ceiling waiting for instruction. I didn’t know what was going on.
Finally he said, “Get up and go STRAIT to the bathroom and take a shower.”
Ok. I didn’t ask questions. I just went. I wasn’t too messy personally, there was a tiny bit of poo on me, but for the most part it had just shot strait down the couch. I walked back out to see my boyfriend scrubbing the poop pile out of the carpet.
I sort of timidly asked, “What now?” He said, “You’ve got two other working holes – where do you want it?”
Afterwards I asked him how he kept going and how the poop didn’t bother him. He said, “When you play with fire, you’re bound to get burned now and then. You just clean up and fuck on.”
Pooped Myself at my Own Party
It’was the eve of my 22nd birthday…..it was a dark and drunken night…….Do you guys remember Graham’s Central Station? Well, that’s where I wanted to go and I gathered a group of friends to go with me. They had one hour where all drinks were 25 cents. This didn’t turn out well for me. I had $2.25 worth of drinks in that one hour. I was dancing. I cleared myself an area on the dance floor because I was hitting people while I was pretending to swim. I got up in a cage and was squatting down fast and then popping back up fast, each time my skirt flying up and displaying my underwear. Eventually we were asked to leave because of me. I didn’t know that at the time because I was too out of it. I was just taken by the hand and told that the party was moving back to my house. Once I was back home I was placed on the couch and started drooling on myself. I ran to the bathroom and immediately was fucked because I had to poop and vomit and wasn’t sure which end to put on the toilet.
Meanwhile, all of my friends are sitting right outside of that tiny downstairs half bathroom on my living room couches politely chatting.
I put my ass end on the toilet and immediately started shitting whilst also vomiting into a trash can in between my legs. I reached behind me to flush to try to get rid of the vomit stink and I kept flushing and flushing, commenting that the water and the breeze felt so good on my vagina, but also very confused that my vomit never went away (not realizing I had been vomiting into a trash can and not into the toilet).
I started whining for my then-husband to “make it stoooooopppppppp! pleeeeease, make it stop!” He was fielding my requests while also trying to be a polite host.
Eventually everyone left seeing that the situation was clearly continuing south. I tried to crawl out of the bathroom and ended up passed out face down half way in the bathroom and half way out with my skirt flipped up and sprinkles of diarrhea all over my butt cheeks. My darling husband wiped my ass, threw my skirt in the trash and helped me upstairs to bed.
I woke up the next morning still drunk and used this as a shining example to teach my teenage sister not to ever drink. I fished my skirt out of the trash, washed it, and tried to regain my dignity.
The Day I Pooped at the Float Spa
In case you’ve never been, a float spa is comprised of a few individual rooms each containing a pod filled with salt water, and a shower stall. I entered the pod for my float and when my 60 minutes were up I crawled out of the pod, stood up, and immediately felt my poop trying to pop out. I knew I couldn’t make it down the hall to the bathroom because every time I moved an inch the poop moved closer to being outside of my body. There was a tiny trash can with a plastic liner in it so I squatted on the floor and pooped in the bag. I showered and then part way through my shower had the insane urge to shit again. I had tied a knot in the plastic bag because the smell was so intense so I had to open it back up, face the stink, and add more poop to the bag. Poop smells really gross out in the open air versus sitting in toilet water. Besides my clothes, all I had with me was a tiny towel and the bag of poop was see through and totally disgusting. Somehow I mostly hid the bag of poop with the towel and ran to the bathroom hoping not to run into anyone on the way. I chucked the poo bag in the big trash can in there and got the hell out.
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